I Shall Believe
by esmtz
Summary: Sheryl Crow. Cartman has always been a heartless kid for as long as everyone's known him but when one of his friends unexpectedly dies he'll show signs that no one not even himself believed he had; emotions. Slight Stanman and Kyman
1. Worried

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Eric Cartman and especially everyone who knew him knew that Cartman was not the kind of person to get emotional. In fact all Cartman was about was making other people suffer especially if it benefited him and enjoying the fact that his life was way better than everyone else's by trying to constantly rub it in their faces whenever he got something that was brand new that other kids had wanted but couldn't get. The only kids who were able to really put up with him were Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters who Cartman grew up with and was closest to but even then they never had really considered him a friend and Cartman in return only stuck around them because he had no one else he could hang out with plus he was picky about who hung around him. Kyle in particular was always the one who ended up arguing with Cartman the most because Cartman hated him mostly because he was Jewish but for other reasons as well that even Cartman himself never really thought about. Today for Cartman had started off like any other normal day; going to school, trying to pay attention but failing miserably at listening to what the teachers were talking about and finally once school was over the same normal routine like always happened.

"Dammit Cartman! I'm not going to let you copy my notes! We've been through this way too many times for you to not get the message by now!" Kyle yelled at him as both he and Cartman made their way outside of the school.

"Ay! It's not my fault that the stupid ass teachers keep talking for so long that I just can't pay attention. I would ask Stan or Kenny for help but they're not even in the same class as us Khal!" Cartman replied back making Kyle roll his eyes.

"Dude it's called focus and don't let anything else distract you. I can't believe you're still too damn lazy to take notes yourself fatass!" Kyle said as they headed towards Stan and Kenny who were already waiting for them, "Freshman year in high school and you still haven't changed asshole."

Cartman snorted.

"Look who's talking Mr. 'I'm too good to help my friends out'."

"First off fatass we're NOT friends and second you need to start being responsible for your own work!" Kyle told him getting agitated with him already.

"All I'm asking for is for your notes you fucking Jew so that way I know what I'm doing! I always knew you were greedy Khal otherwise-"

Kyle looked at him already his face red with anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You're the one whose always made me do the work by myself whenever we were paired up on a project fatass! Every single damn time and not once did you bother to help me so why on earth would I bother to help you now?"

Cartman sighed.

"Jesus Christ Khal that was along time ago get over it already."

Kyle gritted his teeth clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Oh boy they're at it again." Kenny said just as Kyle and Cartman made their way towards them, "What's up dudes?"

"Take a guess Kenny." Kyle replied angrily already knowing that he didn't have to give an explanation as to why he and Cartman were arguing.

Stan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dude just let him copy your notes. It's not like he's asking to copy your actual homework." Stan told him.

"Stan how many times have you heard me tell him that he needs to start taking notes of his own?" Kyle asked looking at him.

"Way too many to count dude."

"See? It's not my fault that once again he wasn't paying attention."

"Ay! I would pay attention Khal if it was something interesting not just boring shit that puts me to sleep every time I come to class!" Cartman replied completely annoyed.

Kenny started laughing and to Cartman's surprise Stan smiled at him making Cartman's face turn slightly red.

"He does have a point Kyle. You're the only one out of all of us that takes schoolwork seriously. Even I have to agree with Cartman that what they teach is completely dull." Stan admitted.

"I can't believe you're siding with Cartman, Stan." Kyle said looking at him.

"And I can't believe how much of a nerd you are Kyle I mean seriously who other than you has more than three binders filled with notes?" Kenny said grinning at him.

"I'm sure Wendy can give Kyle a run for his money I mean you wouldn't believe how well prepared she is everytime we have a test or a quiz or something." Stan replied as he put his hands in his pockets.

"She sounds like she's perfect for you Kyle." Kenny said looking at him before turning to face Stan, "Sorry Stan you know I never really thought that you guys-"

"It's alright Kenny. Truth is I never really saw myself with her after having been broken up by her so many times. I guess I just liked the attention she gave me." Stan admitted.

"So you don't have any plans on getting back together with her Stan?" Cartman asked nervously.

"Not really why Cartman?" Stan asked looking at him curiously.

Kyle snorted.

"You can't tell me you're interested in her fatass."

"Fuck no! It was just getting annoying seeing them together all the time." Cartman said wondering why he was suddenly feeling very jumpy and nervous.

Kyle was about to say something but Kenny interrupted.

"It's true! Stan we missed you! You hung around that girlfriend of yours way too much!" Kenny replied as he threw himself at Stan making both of them fall to the floor.

"It's great that you missed me Kenny but could you get off me? My dad's here to pick me up!" Stan said as he hurriedly got back up.

Cartman looked at Kenny slightly annoyed as they saw that Randy was indeed pulling up to the school. This made Cartman frown slightly as Randy NEVER picked up his son before at least not since they were in elementary school. It was usually his mom who did or Stan got a ride home with Kyle and his family.

"Why is your dad getting you today Stan?" Kyle asked.

"I have a doctor's appointment that I have to go to and my mom's too busy at work to take me so she sent me a text saying that my dad was going to pick me up and take me. Apparently he has the day off today." Stan told him as Randy pulled up.

Cartman suddenly couldn't shake this feeling that something wasn't right. He knew about the drinking problems that Randy had before seeing as he witnessed it himself and then to top it off Randy and Sharon's marriage wasn't doing to well and he wasn't exactly sure what was going on but he knew Randy well enough to know how easily retarded he could be at times. Stan even mentioned before that his dad was going through something at work as well which only made Cartman surprisingly worry more. Before he even knew what he was doing Cartman grabbed a hold of Stan's wrist stopping him from leaving.

"Stan wait." Cartman whispered.

Kyle, Kenny and Stan looked at him in surprise wondering why Cartman suddenly stopped Stan from leaving. Noticing the look on Cartman's face Stan frowned slightly wondering what was going on with him.

"What is it Cartman? You alright?" Stan asked a little worried from the way Cartman was looking at him.

"Hey Stan you ready to go?" Randy yelled out having already parked the car and waiting for Stan to get in.

Cartman looked at Randy trying to see if he had been drinking or not. It was hard to tell from where he was standing and to be honest it was scaring him how nervous he felt when in reality he most likely had no reason to be not that it mattered considering he wasn't the type of person to care about what happens to his friends or at least that's how he always thought of himself to be like so why on earth would he suddenly be afraid that something could happen to Stan?

"Cartman I uh kinda need to get going now." Stan said still surprised at the frightened look Cartman had on his face.

Very reluctantly Cartman let go of Stan's wrist and watched, with a very worried look on his face, as Stan got in the car and looked back at Cartman worriedly before Randy started to drive off. As soon as they were out of sight both Kyle and Kenny simply looked at Cartman like he had suddenly gone insane.

"What the fuck was that all about Car-" Kyle started to say but cut himself noticing the look on Cartman's face, "…Cartman?"

Kyle had never ever seen a look on Cartman's face like the worried one he had right now and he didn't want to admit it but Cartman was starting to freak him out.

"Why do you look so damned nervous Cartman?" Kenny asked also starting to worry simply because of the way Cartman looked.

Cartman kept clenching and unclenching his fists as he kept trying to tell himself that he had nothing to worry about.

'Stop being a fucking pussie. Stan is going to be fine nothings going to happen. You never cared about him before so there's no reason to start now.' Cartman thought to himself.

This did nothing however to silence the feeling in the pit of his stomach that was telling him that he made a huge mistake letting Stan go with his dad.

"Cartman?"

The sound of Kyle's voice snapped him out of it and made him look directly at Kyle who for some reason seemed to look nervous.

"Did you still want to copy my notes?" Kyle whispered.

Cartman only stared at him making him wince.

"Ok Cartman you win you're kinda scaring me here." Kyle reluctantly admitted.

"Same here dude." Kenny told him, "What's going on?"

Cartman sighed shaking his head.

"It's nothing." Cartman told him, "Listen if my mom shows up before you guys leave just tell her that I decided to walk home."

Without even waiting for either Kyle or Kenny to respond Cartman started making his way away from the school not even noticing that it was slightly starting to rain. Kyle and Kenny didn't know what to say as they kept looking at each other completely worried out of their minds.

Author's Note: I'm totally surprising myself by making another story when I haven't even finished my second to the last one yet. Either way this story isn't going to be very long. Originally I planned on having it last only one chapter but since I don't like to write very long chapters its going to end up at least a couple of chapters. I don't plan on going past 5 chapters so yeah and this IS a tragic story so unfortunately not really a happy ending. It's sort of a StanxCartman fic but it's going to end kinda bad. I'm also probably gonna put KylexCartman in here as well though like I said it's not a very long story. It'll most likely be the shortest story I make so far. Hope you guys like it anyway and please no gay haters. I had to delete a review from the other story I was working on simply because they didn't like the fact that it was two guys. They should have read my summary because it did say it was a certain guy with another guy (sighs). Also might put an alternate ending on this story I'm really thinking about it.


	2. Something's Wrong

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

During the whole walk home Cartman kept wondering why all of a sudden he was feeling like something bad was going to happen to Stan. He was aware that it was slightly starting to pour as he looked at the sky which was covered in dark clouds completely hiding any sign of the sun.

'What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not supposed to care about ANY of those assholes so why do I feel this way all of a sudden?' Cartman thought to himself as all he kept feeling was anxiousness, 'This weather sure as hell isn't helping me feel any better either. Maybe playing some video games will take my mind off this goddamn feeling I'm having."

Cartman was too preoccupied thinking that he hadn't realized that he had already made it to his house. Not surprisingly his mom wasn't home so until she got back he had the house to himself. The first thing he did as soon as he got inside was get a drink from inside the refrigerator and head upstairs to his bedroom. He put his drink down on the table next to his bed and then he set his backpack next to his bed. He took off his jacket and put it down on top of his bed before going over to start up his Xbox and then taking a seat on his bed. For awhile playing Gears of War 3 kept his mind from wandering back to Stan as he was too busy killing enemies in horde mode. After having played for about an hour or so Cartman heard a knock coming from downstairs. He frowned when he heard his mom call up to him, having not known that she had shown up already, as he left the online match so he could see what his mom wanted. He made his way downstairs and was slightly surprised to find Kyle and Kenny standing there in front of the door.

"Oh hey Khal, Kenny. What's up?" Cartman asked frowning slightly.

Kyle rolled his eyes as he looked at him.

"We came to hang out what does it look like?" Kyle replied.

"Without Stan?" Cartman asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Stan said he'll come by when he's done. So until then let's go play some games!" Kenny replied as he made his way towards Cartman's room.

Cartman sighed shaking his head before following after Kenny.

"Cartman."

Cartman stopped, frowning slightly before turning to face Kyle who had a serious look on his face but for once there was no anger mixed in his expression. Instead it looked like Kyle was concerned about something.

"What is it Jew?" Cartman asked.

Kyle was looking at him trying to see if Cartman was still worried like he was earlier.

"Are you ok?" Kyle asked which caught Cartman totally by surprise.

"…Yeah of course I'm ok why wouldn't I be?" Cartman replied wondering why Kyle was even asking in the first place.

"You didn't look ok earlier. In fact it looked like you were worried about something. Is something going on that I don't know about Cartman?" Kyle asked.

Cartman winced as the feeling of worry came over him again.

"Nothings going on Khal and if something was you should just stay out of it because it's none of your business!" Cartman told him watching as Kyle started to get annoyed.

"There's no use in lying Cartman. It's clearly written all over your face that your worried maybe even scared about something and you're just too stubborn to come out and say it!" Kyle sighed, "Does this have anything to do with Stan?"

"W-Why would you think that it would be about Stan?" Cartman asked his stomach feeling like it was doing summersaults.

"Because of the way you reacted when Randy came and picked him up!" Kyle replied, "I was there remember? I saw how you looked when they left!"

Cartman sighed.

"It's nothing Khal. I just overreacted to something that I have no idea why I even reacted to at all."

Kyle simply stared at him making Cartman turn slightly red from embarrassment.

"What is it now you stupid Jew?" Cartman asked as he started to get annoyed.

Kyle chuckled shaking his head.

"What?!" Cartman asked again.

"Dude you're totally worried about Stan! I am amazed that you have that ability considering how you've always been before." Kyle said smiling slightly.

Cartman growled.

"I am not worried about that fucking hippie!"

"Cartman it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Honestly I'm just glad that finally you're not as heartless as you have been in the past. Before you seriously wouldn't give a shit if any of us died." Kyle told him.

"I STILL DON'T! I couldn't care less if either Stan, you or Kenny just suddenly died because you're forgetting that I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS!" Cartman yelled out.

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HANG AROUND US?! Jesus fatass we haven't done anything to you to make you say that! You CHOSE to hang around us so you have no damn business saying that you hate us because that is so far from the truth that it isn't even funny! If you truly hated us asshole all you had to do was stay away from us!" Kyle yelled back at him clearly starting to get angry enough to start beating the crap out of him.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE OK?! There was no one else that I really liked so I chose you guys because you were the best ones out of everyone that I could of hung out with!" Cartman reluctantly admitted.

Kyle didn't say anything for a few seconds as he watched Kenny walk back downstairs so he could clearly see and hear what was going on.

"You can't possibly think that low of us do you Cartman? After everything all of us have been through?" Kyle asked.

Cartman didn't say anything as he watched Kyle trying so hard to stop himself from attacking him. Kyle tightly clenched and unclenched his hands as he glared angrily at Cartman.

"You're unbelievable Cartman. I can't and will never be able to understand why you constantly have to act like such a fucking bastard! You should at least be grateful that we put up with your shit every single damn day and yet I can't see you ever being grateful for what little amount of friends that you have even though you're claiming that you hate us. You want the truth Cartman? I would have left a fucking long time ago if it wasn't for the fact that Stan and Kenny feel sorry for you too damn much! All of us know that without us you wouldn't have any friends period because everyone else hates you so don't you fucking dare say that you couldn't care less if one of us dies because guess what fatass? We're all that you got!" Kyle growled angrily at him completely shaking with rage.

Cartman still didn't say anything as Kyle just stood there waiting for Cartman to at least say something. After a few seconds of awkward silence Kenny decided to say something.

"So uh are you guys done fighting now that way we can actually start playing video games?" Kenny asked looking from one to the other.

Kyle sighed obviously knowing that Cartman wasn't going to say anything.

"Sorry Kenny I'll catch up with you later. I'm just going to head home and wait for Stan to show up." Kyle said before turning to head out the door.

"Yeah alright Kyle I'll see you later then. I'll go by your house later hopefully when Stan's back." Kenny replied looking at him.

Kyle nodded and before closing the door behind him he looked at Cartman who still had a worried look on his face.

'Stubborn asshole.' Kyle thought to himself the look on Cartman's face still worrying him as he shut the door behind him.

Cartman felt like he was frozen in place as the truth behind what Kyle said hit him.

'He's right. He, Stan, Kenny and I guess Butters are all the friends I really do have. No one else would even want to be around me so why is it so damn hard for me to just admit to myself and to them that I am grateful and happy that they stuck around me.' Cartman thought to himself before thinking, 'Aw great I'm turning into a pussie.'

"So uh Cartman were you going to continue playing Gears or what?" Kenny asked making Cartman turn to face him.

"Uh yeah I was just doing some online horde mode but I can put it to local if you want to join in." Cartman replied looking at him.

"Sweet let's do it!" Kenny said before running back up the stairs.

After about an hour or so of them playing Gears of War 3 Cartman got a text from Kyle asking if he had gotten a phone call from Stan at all making Cartman frown slightly.

"What is it Cartman?" Kenny asked his eyes glued to the TV as he chainsawed a Kantus.

"It's from Khal. He's asking if we heard from Stan at all." Cartman said worriedly.

Kenny paused the game and turned to look at him with a frown on his face.

"What?" Kenny asked making Cartman show him the text, "Dude he's gotta be done by now. A doctor's appointment shouldn't take all that long unless he decided to go have dinner too but he really should have called by now."

Cartman sent Kyle a text back asking if he tried calling him. Before getting a reply he quickly looked up Stan's number on his cell and called it. It rang a good four or five times before it went to voicemail making Cartman hang up. He then heard his phone go off signaling he got a response from Kyle. Cartman quickly opened it up and read it.

"Stan's not answering." Cartman whispered his voice sounding like he was afraid.

Kenny looked at him wide eyed.

"Try calling him again dude!" Kenny said worriedly on the verge of starting to freak out.

Cartman's hands were shaking as he quickly started calling Stan's number again. Once again it was the same thing a couple of rings and then it went straight to voicemail. Cartman hung up before letting the phone drop from his hand. He had turned completely white and wasn't sure what to say to Kenny or rather if he even could say anything he was having trouble trying to comprehend what might be happening. Thankfully Kenny already knew from just looking at him.

"I'll be right back Cartman I'm going to Stan's house real quick." Kenny said before running out his bedroom door.

The only thought going through Cartman's mind was 'Something's wrong. Something's seriously SERIOUSLY wrong.'

Author's Note: Thanks Suhamakitten for your review. It really helped me to write this chapter especially since no one else is really reading it or liking it. Either way it doesn't matter I just wanted to post this story anyway because I thought it was a good idea to post it so yeah hopefully you'll like the way it ends. I will have an alternate ending for this or the real ending will be a good one not sure it's probably the same thing if I go either way. Anyway I kinda figured you forgot your password considering the last few times I got a review from you it was with a guest pen name. For awhile I thought you were too busy or forgot about my fanfics or something because you didn't review my last two chapters in Dirty Little Secret but at least I know that you're still around which is awesome. I always like to know when my stories are liked even if not a lot of people review or favorite it.


	3. The Accident

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Instead of waiting for Kenny to come back Cartman immediately got up and followed right behind him. By the time he had caught up with him Kenny was already at the front door of Stan's house ringing the doorbell. It didn't take long for Stan's mom to answer the door.

"Mrs. Marsh is Stan home?" Kenny asked.

Cartman saw the look on Sharon's face making him turn completely white as it was clearly obvious that she was worried about something.

"Oh hey there Kenny, Eric. No I'm afraid Stan's not home right now." Sharon told them.

"When was the last time you spoke with either Mr. Marsh or Stan?" Kenny asked hoping that she at least spoke to them recently.

"Last I spoke with Randy was about an hour ago when he told me that there was just so much traffic that they couldn't even make it to Stan's doctors appointment so instead Randy said that he was going to have dinner with Stan and then come home." Sharon replied looking rather anxious.

"Have you tried calling them since?" Kenny asked.

Cartman saw out of the corner of his eye Kyle running towards them from his house. Sharon just nodded trying not to worry too much.

"A few times already. It's not like Randy or Stan to just not pick up their cell phones. They always call to let me know where they're at." Sharon replied starting to wonder if maybe she should go out and look for them.

"Did Mr. Marsh say where he was taking Stan?" Cartman asked.

"No. I'm guessing he took Stan to wherever he wanted to eat." Sharon told him, "Listen boys if you're worried about Stan I'm sure everything is fine. You know how long it can take being stuck in traffic and then to go have dinner as well yeah they'll be back any minute now I'm sure of it." Sharon said trying to convince them but mostly herself that she had nothing to worry about.

Once Sharon closed the door all three boys exchanged worried glances.

"I don't know about you guys but something is seriously wrong here. I know Stan far too well to know when something is wrong." Kyle said looking at them wondering what they should do.

"Even if they were having dinner right now wouldn't Stan at the very least answer either yours or Cartman's calls or even sending a text?" Kenny asked as he started to get a bad feeling.

Cartman clenched his fists tightly before running back home making Kyle and Kenny follow after him.

"Where are you going fatass?!" Kyle yelled out.

Cartman yanked the door open and rushed inside.

"MOM I NEED YOU TO TAKE US SOMEWHERE!" Cartman yelled out as he ran into the kitchen already knowing where he was going to find her.

Liane was currently on the phone most likely talking to her boyfriend. She held the phone away from her when she heard Eric yell for her.

"What is it hun?" Liane asked as soon as he came into view.

"I need you to take us somewhere it's an emergency!" Cartman told her with a very frightened look on his face.

Cartman was completely drenched having been outside long enough while it was still raining.

"Can it wait a few minutes poopsikins? Mommy's still on the phone talking to an old friend of hers." Liane replied obviously not believing what Cartman told her.

Cartman rolled his eyes and looked at her trying so hard to not sound as though he was desperate.

"I'm being serious here mom! It's about my friend Stan! He hasn't come home yet! He had a doctors appointment a couple of hours ago and he never came home! He isn't even picking up his cell when I try to call him so please tell whoever you're on the phone with that you'll call them back later so we can go!" Cartman said with pleading eyes.

Liane looked at him for a few seconds before finally deciding to say goodbye to whoever was on the phone and went to get her jacket. She was slightly surprised to find that both Kyle and Kenny were also there completely sopping wet and both with worried looks on their faces. While the boys got in the car Liane made sure the door was locked before closing the door and heading towards the drivers side of the car. In the distance they all could barely hear the sounds of an ambulance along with a couple of police cars. Kyle and Kenny exchanged terrified looks as Cartman practically gripped his seat trying very hard to not freak out just because they all thought that something was wrong and then suddenly the sound of an ambulance was heard.

'It's just a fucking coincidence so stop freaking the hell out. Stan's fine. Randy must have been too stupid to realize that he got them lost or something. He is after all the type of person to be THAT stupid.' Cartman thought to himself slightly loosening his grip on the seat.

Cartman could suddenly hear and feel just how loud his heart was beating in his chest. He didn't even hear when Kyle told his mom to follow the sound of the ambulance that they all could hear in the distance. With each minute that passed Cartman tried to slow his own heart beat by taking a deep breath in then letting it out but failing miserably as they got closer to what Cartman was sure had to of been a car accident he was afraid that he might have a heart attack right there in the car.

"You alright Cartman? You look like you're having trouble breathing." Kyle said looking at him with a frightened look on his face mostly because he was worried about Stan but also because it seemed like to him that Cartman was hyperventilating.

It took a couple of seconds for Cartman to reply because he was struggling to keep himself under control.

"…I'm fine Jew boy." Cartman responded though to him and everyone else in the car it sounded like a whisper.

"Try to calm down dude or you'll end up giving yourself a heart attack." Kenny told him seriously not even joking about it making Kyle wince.

"Don't you think I'm trying?!" Cartman growled back suddenly finding himself clutching his chest, "Goddammit when did it get so fucking hot in here?"

Both Kyle and Kenny looked at him with wide eyes while Liane just looked at him worriedly.

"Eric, sweetie do we need to go to the hospital?" Liane asked.

Cartman just shook his head in response.

"No just keep going." Cartman told her.

'We're going to end up going to the hospital anyway.' Cartman found himself thinking making him wince, 'Shut up it's NOT going to end up like that!'

It must have taken at least another five to ten minutes before they saw a sign of traffic being held up. Liane came to a stop as there was no way she could either make a turn or go straight ahead as the traffic was blocking the entire section of the road.

"Well it doesn't look like we'll be going anywhere anytime soon." Kyle said as he looked out the window.

"You think maybe Stan and his dad are just stuck in all this traffic?" Kenny asked.

"What are the chances of both of their phones being dead?" Kyle asked looking at him.

Kenny sighed.

"Slim to none." Kenny replied.

Having at least calmed himself to the point of not freaking out Cartman kept looking in the direction that all the cars were headed towards but couldn't move forward because of what obviously had to of been a car accident as the sounds of the ambulance and police cars were clearer now than they were before. Not even bothering to tell the others what he was doing Cartman got out of the car and started running down in the direction of where the car accident had happened. It felt like the rain was coming down a little harder as Cartman still couldn't see where the accident had happened. It didn't take long for both Kyle and Kenny to catch up with him.

"Dude what the hell are you doing?!" Kyle yelled out.

"I have a bad feeling Khal!" Cartman yelled back over the noise of the rain and cars.

"Yeah Cartman the feeling is that you're going to have a heart attack if you keep running like this! You really didn't look that good back in the car!" Kenny told him.

Cartman ignored him and kept running all the while praying to god that what he was fearing wasn't true.

'Please don't let it be Stan, please don't let it be Stan!' Cartman thought to himself as they got closer to where the accident had happened.

The first thing they saw was the police cars parked around the area where the accident had happened. Some of the police were already talking to the person who looked like had caused the accident since the front portion of their truck was totally destroyed. At first glance it looked like some random stupid ass drunk but after taking a long hard glance…

"…DAD?!" Kenny yelled out his eyes wide in horror.

"WHAT?!" Both Kyle and Cartman yelled out.

Stuart turned his attention to Kenny and smiled.

"W-Why hey there Kenny t-thought you were h-hanging out with your friends. That's my boy officers." Stuart said completely drunk off his mind as he kept swaying slightly almost to the point of falling down.

All three boys looked on in horror as they saw that the other car was upside down and on the other side of the road. The rest of the police officers were helping to get the people who were in the car out. Cartman turned white as a sheet as he immediately recognized the car to be Randy Marsh's car. He wasn't the only one to recognize it as out of the corner of his eye he saw Kyle fall to his knees and tears started forming in his eyes as they all watched what was happening right in front of them. They all already knew what to expect but it didn't stop it from coming as a huge shock to them as they saw Stan's body being pulled out of the vehicle blood dripping down from his head from what they could see. Right when they could clearly see that it was him Cartman felt the feeling in his legs leave him as he too fell to the ground his eyes completely glued to Stan as he watched them put his body on a stretcher. The tears came so fast that his vision immediately became blurry before the tears fell down his face.

"Stan…" Cartman whispered.

Author's Note: Every time I've thought of this scene in my head I immediately started crying. I've been dying to write this scene for the story and now I've finally done it. I hope you guys liked it. Another scene I'm hoping to write is the alternate ending one so yeah I decided to make the alternate ending because lets face it everyone loves a happy ending unless you really just wanted it to end sadly then consider the chapter that I plan to put up as the original ending the actual end. Anyway I wanted to thank all of my readers and especially my reviewers because I really didn't think I was going to get anymore except for the one I already got from Suhamakitten so anyway thanks Guest, GrewUpScrewedUp, AriJustAri, Wizard-Bigboned and K lady I always appreciate every single review that I get because with every review that I get, I get inspired to continue writing for that story so yeah thanks for all your kind words it makes me feel happy.


	4. The Hospital

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Kenny was the first one to react as soon as Stan had been put inside the ambulance and quickly put his hand on Kyle's shoulder and shook him slightly.

"H-Hey Kyle we should get going to the hospital. Somehow I doubt that they'd let us ride with him because we're not family." Kenny said his voice clearly shaking as he watched the police officers and the paramedics now get Stan's dad out of the car.

Kyle slowly nodded and like Cartman he couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from his super best friend who clearly wasn't conscious at the moment. He found himself unable to reply as Kenny started helping him to his feet. Kenny then went towards Cartman to help him to his feet as well.

"Come on Cartman lets go and for once don't go saying stuff like Stan got what he deserved because he's a pussie or something because guess what fatass this is serious!" Kenny said as he started pulling on Cartman's arm.

Cartman didn't reply. He didn't even flinch when Kenny assumed that Cartman was going to say something like that about one of his friends. Kenny frowned slightly as he looked at him completely surprised that Cartman hasn't started laughing and saying something about Kenny's dad getting so damn drunk that he drove right into Stan and his dad yet. Cartman just sat there staring at Stan with what Kenny was surprised to find a clearly hurt look on his face. Kenny hadn't expected this coming from Cartman. He expected Cartman to just outright being all happy or at the very least not even remotely close to even caring at all to what happened to Stan that Kenny was wondering if something was wrong with Cartman.

"Dude get up what the fuck is wrong with you?" Kenny asked as he pulled harder on Cartman's arm to get him to stand up.

Truthfully Cartman had no idea why he was acting the way he was acting. Normally he would have made fun of this whole situation saying something along the lines of that Kenny's dad being who he was, was obviously going to cause an accident sooner or later since he's always been a fucking ass drunk so it didn't come as a surprise that this happened especially to someone like Stan who has always been a total pussie and Randy who was always been a total retard. Instead Cartman found himself unable to say anything as he felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt wash over him as he shut his eyes tightly from the pain.

"…Dude I need help getting him up." Kenny suddenly said making Cartman realize that Kenny had been talking but he hadn't been listening.

Kyle sighed as he went over to grab Cartman's other arm.

"Hurry up fatass we have to get to the hospital." Kyle told him his voice indicating that he was on the verge of breaking down into tears.

The moment they got him up and let go of him Cartman fell back down to the ground.

"Dude!" Kyle yelled out trying to sound annoyed but he was too hurt to make it seem like he was getting annoyed with Cartman.

Cartman didn't make a move to get up again as he felt like he couldn't feel his legs for some reason. He started muttering something under his breath forcing Kenny and Kyle to get closer to him to hear what he was saying.

"This is my fault. I knew I should have told him not to go with his dad but now it's…" Cartman cut himself off as he clenched his hands into fists as he looked down at the ground refusing to continue looking at the accident in front of him.

This surprised both Kyle and Kenny as they looked at each other with worried looks on their faces. Luckily a couple of police officers went over to them and asked them what they were doing there. Kyle immediately replied saying that they knew the people who had been hit by Kenny's dad and was wondering if they could get a ride to the hospital. The police officers said ok and one of them started helping Cartman to his feet. Cartman didn't say anything as he was being led to one of the police cars and got inside sitting right next to Kenny who was in the middle between him and Kyle.

"Cartman you should probably call your mom to let her know what's happening." Kyle said as he was looking out the window trying to tell himself that Stan will be ok so that way he didn't end up bursting into tears and end up having Cartman make fun of him.

When Cartman didn't reply Kyle turned his head to look at him frowning slightly wondering why Cartman wasn't saying anything and immediately saw the hurt and guilty look Cartman had on his face as he kept his eyes focused on the floor of the car.

"Cartman?" Kyle asked slightly worried.

Cartman didn't say anything as he either stared at the floor or looked out the window. During the whole ride Cartman didn't say anything or even really pay attention when Kyle and Kenny were talking or trying to talk to him. He kept trying to tell himself that Stan was going to be fine so that way he wouldn't suddenly lose it in front of Kyle and Kenny but deep down he knew how bad the situation really was.

'Dude why the fuck do you even care? You don't get to fucking care when all your life all you've ever been to him was a fucking asshole so just stop. Caring now means absolutely nothing especially when you know that there's no way that your so called friends would even believe for a second that you have a heart.' Cartman thought to himself, 'Just call Stan a fucking pussie for even being in this situation. Hell blame this whole thing on Kenny since it was his dad who hit them in the first place.'

Cartman put his head in his hands clearly stressing out from what was going on. Kyle and Kenny simply looked at him making them think that something was definitely wrong with Cartman.

"Dude what the fuck is wrong with him now?" Kyle asked not sure if he should worry or not since all his life Kyle has never once saw Cartman act like this but he knew him well enough to know how much of a manipulative bastard Cartman could be.

Kenny shrugged.

"Who knows maybe what you said earlier to him finally got to him." Kenny replied.

Kyle snorted.

"Yeah right I really don't see Cartman ever being grateful for the people in his life let alone being upset that one of his friends is most likely dying right now. This is Cartman we're talking about remember." Kyle said trying not to think about if Stan did die as he turned his head to look out the window not wanting to cry in front of all people Cartman.

"Stan's not going to die Kyle. He's going to be fine you'll see I just…" Kenny stopped for a second feeling extremely hurt and guilty that it was HIS dad who ended up sending Stan and his dad to the hospital, "I'm sorry that it was my dad who caused the accident. I should've done something to stop him from drinking."

Kyle shook his head and looked at him.

"It's not your fault Kenny. You didn't know that he was going to go out and do what he did." Kyle told him.

"That's the problem though. I should have known that he was probably going to do something stupid because he's always drunk but where he got the truck from I have no idea." Kenny replied sadly, "I'm just so sorry that it was Stan that he had to hit. I mean he's your super best friend."

"I'm not angry at you Kenny because it's not your fault. I just hate your dad right now because he seriously could have killed…" Kyle had to cut himself off because he was on the verge of breaking down right there. He hoped to god that the car accident hadn't caused serious injury to Stan.

"Kyle he didn't kill Stan he couldn't have…" Kenny's voice trailed off as he tried very hard to keep it together so that way he didn't cause Kyle to burst into tears.

They didn't say anything else to each other for the rest of the ride as they both were too busy hoping that Stan was going to make it. It didn't take long before they arrived at the hospital. All three boys got out of the car and made their way inside. While they were waiting Kyle quickly called up Stan's mom to let her know what happened and then after that he called up his parents to let them know where he was at and why. Cartman shakily pulled out his cell and started calling his mom's phone letting her know what happened and where they were. Just as he hung up the doors to the hospital entrance burst open and the boys watched as Stan was quickly being rushed inside followed by his dad. From where they were standing it looked like Stan was fine with only a gash on his head but who knows if he was suffering from internal bleeding as well.

"STAN!" Kyle yelled out as he ran towards him.

"Move kid we need to get him quickly to the emergency room!" The guy said who was quickly moving past him so he could get Stan into the room.

"I-Is my son alive?" Randy asked weakly as he too was being rushed towards a different room.

When Randy asked that question it immediately made all three boys start to panic. Kyle was wide eyed wanting to just follow after the guy who was rushing Stan into a room but knew that he couldn't. Kenny felt like he was living a nightmare as he realized that if Stan died there was no way he could ever face Kyle again and Cartman was just in complete shock as once again his phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor making the phone's screen crack slightly.

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" Kyle yelled out in anguish before turning on Cartman in complete desperation, "GODDAMMIT CARTMAN SAY SOMETHING! CALL ME A FUCKING PATHETIC JEW OR SOMETHING!"

The look on Cartman's face only made things worse for Kyle as Cartman obviously looked like he was about to cry and was failing miserably if he was trying to hide it. Kyle would have had a look of complete shock on his face but instead one look at Cartman and he immediately bursted into tears.

Author's Note: Ok so it looks like it'll be at least 6 chapters for the story instead of 5 which I was originally planning for but every time I write a chapter I put in so much detail that I don't realize until after I made the chapter that the story might end up just a bit longer than I thought. I hope this chapter was ok. I'm always worried every time I post a new chapter that it might not be as good as my previous ones. Anyway as always I would like to thank those who continue to read, like and follow my story and especially to those who review my story AriJustAri, Stendy fan101, and KaiamackenziePancake01 as I always love and appreciate feedback for my story. My birthday is tomorrow so I'm extremely happy I got this chapter out before then (May 8th). I'm just worried that I might start to get too lazy to finish writing this story as I'm already starting to feel like I kinda don't wanna post anything for awhile and when I do that I tend to not update for a really long time and I hope that, that doesn't happen so hopefully I'll be done with the story soon. (this is why I should really stop writing stories that end up becoming really long to write cause chances are I might not get to finish it (sighs)).


	5. The Death Of A Friend

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

While they were waiting for news on Stan's condition Kenny attempted to calm Kyle down as he was too busy crying and it didn't seem like he was going to stop anytime soon. Cartman, having already picked up his phone, simply sat where he was at and stared at his phone which now had a decent sized crack in his phone's screen. Having not noticed when their parents showed up it caught Cartman's attention when he heard Sharon, who was already crying hysterically, talk to Kenny asking him about what had happened. Cartman looked up and watched as Kyle's parents and brother went up to him to try and comfort him.

"It's ok Kyle, Stan is going to be ok." Gerald told him hugging his son who was still struggling to calm himself down.

"I'm so sorry Sharon what happened?" Sheila asked as she went up to her and hugged her.

"Oh Sheila I'm so happy that you're here. Kenny was just telling me that it was his dad who hit my husband's car." Sharon replied hugging back.

"W-What, what, WHAT?!" Sheila yelled out in shock.

Cartman hadn't been paying too much attention to what the parents were saying and he barely felt when his mom put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry about your friend, Eric. I'm sure he's going to be fine." Liane told him.

Cartman wanted to believe her but he already knew that Stan wasn't going to be ok. The only thought going through his mind was that he didn't want to know Stan's condition because he was afraid that he would break down and cry and would be unable to stop. He didn't want to find out how much he really cared when this whole time all he's ever done was acted like he never did care. It was taking everything in his power not to start crying right there because Kyle was already crying and did not want to suddenly show that he was hurt about all of this. After about another twenty minutes or so the doctor finally came out with a sad expression on his face.

"Who here is with the young boy and his father?" The doctor asked looking around the room.

"All of us are." Sharon replied motioning to Kenny, Cartman, Liane, Kyle and his family, "Is everything ok?" She asked worriedly.

Without even waiting for a response Cartman got up and started walking away.

"Where are you going poopikins?" Liane asked worriedly.

"Bathroom." Cartman said not even wanting to hear what the doctor was going to say to them.

"Goddammit Cartman can't you at least wait until he tells us about Stan?! Do you really not care enough to stay and listen? You are such a fucking-"

Not even bothering to respond Cartman started running until he was far enough away from the waiting room and had found an empty bathroom where he was certain he'd be alone for some time. The first thing he did was turn on one of the water faucets hoping to drown out the noise of anyone crying in there. He gripped the sides of the sink hoping to keep himself together long enough to calm himself down. It didn't help that he kept picturing the doctor's sad expression in his mind.

'Maybe he wasn't talking about Stan. It could have been from another accident that involved another father and son.' Cartman thought to himself making him snort, "Yeah right what are the chances of that?" he said to himself.

Cartman suddenly heard his cell phone go off making him reach for it in his pocket. It was his mom who was calling him and Cartman really, REALLY did not want to answer. To his horror the cracks on his screen suddenly got bigger almost as if it was a sign making him shiver.

"Piece of shit phone. Drop it once and already I need to replace the fucking thing." Cartman said to himself before putting his phone away.

Cartman cupped his hands under the running water and then brought it to his face trying to cool himself down from how hot he had become from stressing out so much.

"Cartman?"

Cartman jumped when his name was suddenly called making him turn around and face whoever it was that had spoken.

"Kenny?" Cartman asked frowning slightly wondering how on earth he managed to find him.

Kenny just looked at him completely hurt as there were obviously tears pouring down his face. Cartman didn't have to ask to know what happened as his eyes went wide in fear. Kenny swallowed as he tried to tell Cartman about what happened.

"It's Stan he…" Kenny choked on a sob and Cartman's vision immediately started to get blurry from the tears that were already starting to form, "He's dead, Cartman."

Kenny had said it so quietly that at first Cartman wasn't sure he heard what he heard. Kenny went on to explain what had happened and the only thing Cartman remembered hearing from Kenny was head trauma and internal bleeding. He was aware Kenny was still talking but Cartman couldn't seem to be able to hear him right now. His legs gave out once again and instead of just sitting there shocked his emotions started rising to the surface and no matter how much he tried he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face and the loud scream of anguish that he made as he wrapped his arms around himself and doubled over completely in emotional pain.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Cartman." Kenny said as he walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder which only made him scream louder.

'Why is he apologizing to me?' Cartman thought to himself as he struggled to stop himself from crying but was failing miserably the more he held it in.

Cartman kept crying for a few more minutes before Kenny shook his shoulder slightly making Cartman look up at him his face completely tear stained and his eyes starting to get just a little bit red.

"We should go see him Cartman." Kenny whispered before going to turn off the water faucet and then went to help Cartman up, "Do you need help walking?"

Cartman shook his head as he looked at the floor not wanting to respond right now.

"Ok well then come on." Kenny told him as he made his way out of the bathroom.

Cartman followed right behind him and started making their way back to where the others were at.

"I swear to fucking god Kenny if you're just screwing with me…" Cartman growled slightly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and glared angrily at Kenny.

"I'm not making this up dude. Stan really is…"

"Don't say it you poor piece of shit! I have to see it to believe it." Cartman told him embarrassed that he broke down as easily as he did when he didn't exactly have proof that Stan was indeed dead.

Kenny looked at him worriedly having been completely shocked and surprised at how Cartman just broke down like that.

"…and don't you fucking dare tell anyone about what happened do you hear me?!" Cartman said angrily.

Kenny didn't say anything as they continued making their way back towards the waiting room. Once they got close enough to the waiting room Cartman could easily hear the sounds of people crying making Cartman's heart stop beating for just a second as anxiety took hold of him. As soon as they entered the waiting room Cartman saw that his mom was still sitting where she was at waiting for Cartman to come back. When she saw that Kenny came back with Cartman she got up and went towards her son and gave him a hug.

"I'm so sorry sweetie." Liane said her eyes already red from crying.

This made Cartman tense up as he really, REALLY did not want to go into Stan's room and see him…like that. He knew he had to though as this was the last time he'll see him before…the funeral. Cartman felt like throwing up when he thought that as he and Kenny headed towards Stan's room. The moment they reached Stan's room and looked inside Kenny immediately bursted into tears and ran off unable to face Kyle and the others. Cartman couldn't tear his eyes away from Stan who really just looked like he was asleep. The wound on his head was cleaned up and there weren't any signs that the doctor had even worked on him yet. Sharon was on the right hand side of the bed her upper body mostly on top of Stan's as she hugged her son really tightly and was sobbing uncontrollably. Kyle was on the other side of the bed his head resting on the bed and his body shaking as he too was crying uncontrollably; his parents and brother were right next to him and his mom was rubbing circles on his back trying to comfort him. The tears started forming again and this time Cartman let them fall. He wasn't aware that Kyle was suddenly looking at him with a surprised look on his face or that his mom was gently trying to get him to actually enter the room. All he was aware of was that he suddenly felt like his voice was taken away and he had a huge empty hole deep inside him.

"Eric, sweetie, you should probably say your goodbyes to him now." Liane told him softly as she gently pushed him inside.

Cartman found himself slowly walking towards Stan's bed right where Sharon was currently sitting. She moved out of the way so that Cartman could have room to get near Stan. Shakily he reached out to touch Stan's arm and for some reason it made him shiver as he quickly pulled his hand away. Sharon decided that she was going to see how Randy was doing and quickly left the room. Kyle kept his eyes on Cartman watching to see how he was reacting as Cartman found himself sitting down in the chair that Sharon had just been sitting on; his eyes glued on Stan the entire time. After a few minutes of just staring at him Cartman moved his right hand and placed it on Stan's arm gripping it slightly.

"…Dude are you seriously crying?!" Kyle asked as he saw tears fall down Cartman's face.

To Cartman, Kyle's voice sounded like it was off in the distance and the only thing he could see was Stan as he tightened his grip a little harder on Stan's arm. Kyle kept trying to get Cartman's attention by either calling him fatass or somehow finding a way to piss him off or at least get him to say something but it wasn't working and that's what started to make him worry.

Author's Note: As always I would like to thank all those who read, fav/follow and especially those who review I always love to read what people think of my story it really makes my day and helps me to write the next chapter of the story so thanks Stendy fan101 and AriJustAri for your reviews and thanks for the Happy birthday it really meant a lot for you to say that ^_^. I hope this chapter was as emotional as I was hoping it was going to be. I'm always nervous when I post a new chapter because I really don't want it to screw up the rest of my story so I hope you guys liked it. I've been kinda going between this story and another one updating them and then going to the other so it's been kinda stressing me a little bit because I do want to finish this story I just hope I don't get tired before that happens. Anyway until next time.


	6. Regret

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Cartman stayed sitting where he was at still looking at Stan even after Kyle and his family had left which was about an hour ago. He tried to say Stan's name but felt himself unable to do so and instead he shook his arm slightly hoping that it would get Stan to wake up. He knew Stan was dead but he just didn't want to admit it to himself yet as he shook him a little harder.

"Stan…" Cartman barely managed to get out his eyes completely red from crying so much as he just stared at Stan's face.

Having been the only person in the room at the moment he heard footsteps getting closer to the room making him turn his head to see who it was. It was his mom who was looking at him with a worried look on her face.

"Eric, sweetie we should get going now." Liane told him as she went up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

Cartman didn't say anything as he turned back to look at Stan. After a few seconds Cartman responded.

"Could you give me a minute?" Cartman asked not looking at her.

Liane nodded as she lightly squeezed his shoulder.

"Of course hun I'll be waiting for you in the waiting room." She told him before walking out of the room.

Cartman took a deep breath in and then let it out as he looked away from Stan feeling completely hurt and ashamed about the way he's always treated Stan and the others.

"I know that it's too late to say this and even if I had said it before I doubt that you would even believe me but I'm sorry, Stan. I'm sorry for the way that I've treated you even though technically I treated Khal and Kenny worse than you but still I'm very sorry." Cartman said refusing to look at him and instead he was looking at the floor, "Of course I can only say this when no one can hear me." He mumbled to himself.

Cartman normally wasn't the type of person to just come out and genuinely apologize for something that he had done so for him to be apologizing the way he was it was clearly stressing him out and he wasn't sure if it was because he was actually apologizing or if it was because Stan was dead and wasn't able to hear him.

'Only good thing about this is that he's away from you.' Cartman winced when the thought randomly crossed his mind.

Cartman ran his hands through his hair before looking back at Stan.

"I know that I was never really a friend of yours. I was only someone who you just had to deal with because you had no other choice and I'm sorry. I really wanted to be your friend Stan but honestly I think I was too busy pissing Khal off that I gave him more attention than I did to you not that you care because I think that as long as you had Khal I don't think you would have cared about anyone else even if I had treated you guys better." Cartman said making him really think about it and he realized that he was right.

Even with Kenny, who was on way better terms with Stan and Kyle than he was, Cartman just knew that Stan and Kyle didn't care as much about Kenny as they did about each other. It was like they could hang just as often with other kids but it wouldn't change how close those two were with each other and Cartman was surprised to find out just how jealous he was of their friendship.

"That's the one thing that I regret was that I never attempted to be your friend. All I did was just cause you problems and yeah there were a few times where it was just you and me hanging out and to tell you the truth I've always liked it when it was just you and me because it was different and I didn't have to constantly argue with Khal because he wasn't there. Those were the few times that I felt like I could at least relax and just play whatever game I happened to have at the time." Cartman closed his eyes and imagined the time when he and Stan were playing the Tiger Woods game.

Cartman also remembered some other times that had involved Stan and him like when they had stolen a boat and drove it into the dam, breaking it and flooding an entire city making him smile slightly when he remembered how Stan was listening to him to lie about it especially to Kyle. Cartman truly was regretting the fact that he would never get the chance to truly be Stan's friend now simply because he didn't stop him from getting in his dad's car. He opened his eyes to look at Stan again.

"I should have told you not to get inside your dad's car. I had a feeling that something was going to happen I just didn't think that something WAS going to happen. That was the reason why I tried to stop you at first but like an idiot I didn't tell you and I'm sorry. This was my fault." Cartman whispered trying to keep himself from crying again as he bit his lip and looked away from him again clenching his fists tightly in his lap.

"Poopikins you almost ready?" Cartman heard his mom say from the doorway.

Cartman nodded as he reluctantly started to get up and move away from Stan. Before leaving the room however he turned his head to look back at him.

"At least you'll never have to deal with me again." Cartman whispered before walking out the door.

The next few days went by like a blur. Cartman refused to go to school since he was still dealing with what happened and once in awhile Kyle or Kenny would try and call him or go by his house but he had told his mom to just tell them that he wasn't feeling good and wanted to be left alone. He even locked the door to his room just in case. Once the weekend came around however he started getting more calls or texts from either Kyle or Kenny and it was starting to annoy him greatly. He was just about to turn off his cell phone but after picking it up and looking at the cracks that were on his screen he suddenly felt anger course through him especially after he saw what Kyle was texting him making him throw the phone across the room completely destroying the phone altogether as it hit the wall. Cartman was shaking as he moved to sit on his bed and put his head in his hands. Apparently Stan's funeral was to be held on Sunday and all Cartman wanted to do was to forget about the whole thing. An earlier text from Kyle had asked him if he was ok and he never responded. Of course he wasn't ok but he was going to play it off like he didn't care but somehow he found himself wondering if he was even going to be able to do that.

"Poopikins I heard a noise coming from your room is everything ok?" Liane asked her voice coming from downstairs.

"I'm fine mom it was nothing!" Cartman yelled back as he turned to look at the door.

"Ok sweetie." Liane said before going back to what she was doing.

Cartman turned his attention to his now broken phone and then towards the TV where he was currently playing Left 4 Dead. He knew he wasn't going to be able to avoid Kyle and Kenny forever since it was obvious he would see them on Sunday during Stan's funeral but then again knowing Kyle he was stubborn enough to just go to his house and not leave until Cartman came out of his room. Cartman sighed at least thankful that Kyle hadn't been that stubborn to get him to talk to him.

'Idiot he just lost his super best friend of course he wouldn't come by to see how I am.' Cartman thought to himself.

Cartman was just about to resume playing Left 4 Dead until he heard a knock coming from his door.

"Eric, sweetie your friends are here." Liane told him.

"Mom I told you to tell them that I-"

Cartman was cut off when he heard Kyle yelling at him through the door.

"Open the fucking door fatass! I don't believe for a second that you're not feeling good so get out here!" Kyle told him.

Cartman frowned thinking what the fuck before going over and opening his door.

"What the fuck are you doing here you fucking Jew?" Cartman asked as both Kyle and Kenny entered his room.

Kyle immediately saw Cartman's broken phone on the floor and looked at Cartman not sure whether to be surprised or angry.

"Dude is that why you haven't answered your phone or responded to any of my texts?!" Kyle asked.

Cartman sighed.

"Yeah I got your texts Khal. I only did that just now because it was getting annoying having to listen to my phone go off every single time you call or text me." Cartman told him.

"You couldn't have just turned it off?"

"What are you doing here, Khal?" Cartman asked again.

"We haven't seen you since Stan's accident why do you think we're here?" Kyle responded slightly agitated.

"Since when have you cared Khal? I would have expected you to still be all depressed about losing your boyfriend!" Cartman responded.

"He was not my boyfriend asshole! Of course I'm still upset about losing him and it's not really helping that one of my other 'friends' seems to be trying to avoid me!" Kyle said angrily.

Cartman just looked at him with a look of disgust on his face.

"Oh so now that Stan is gone you consider me a friend now Khal? It doesn't work like that you fucking kike!" Cartman told him angrily.

"We've known each other all our lives Cartman so yeah we've never gotten along but we still hung around each other long enough to at least be something!" Kyle replied.

"Uh yeah it's called enemies Khal."

"Enemies don't normally hang around each other fatass!"

When Cartman really thought about it he realized Kyle was right so until now why had he still been hanging around someone he claimed to have hated? He had no idea how to answer that one other than the fact that he didn't want to be alone but he seriously could have picked anyone else to hang out with so why did he decide to stay with Stan and the others? He was trying to think of a reason why until Kyle sighed breaking him out of his thoughts.

"I saw how upset you were back at the hospital, Cartman." Kyle told him making him turn white as a sheet, "Is that why you're avoiding us?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Khal." Cartman quickly replied looking anywhere but at him.

Kyle rolled his eyes as he looked at him.

"Dude don't lie. Kenny told me what happened when he went to get you plus like I said I saw how you looked when you entered the room. I tried to get you to talk to me but you just kept staring at Stan." Kyle said making Cartman glare at Kenny who wasn't looking at either one of them.

"Khal just drop it ok I don't want to talk about it now get out." Cartman told him.

Without hesitation Kenny immediately left the room without saying anything to either Cartman or Kyle.

"Kenny, wait!" Kyle said as he started to follow after him but before he left the room he turned back to face Cartman, "This isn't over, Cartman."

Author's Note: As always I would like to thank those who continue to read, fav/follow and especially to those who review even though one of the reviews wasn't exactly great but it beats a certain review I keep getting on my left 4 dead story so I sincerely thank you even though you didn't really like this story at least you explained why so my thanks goes out to QueenBee, harvey1997 and AriJustAri for reviewing my last chapter. Let's just say there will be a happy alternate ending to this story which will contain a very cute Stanman moment so hopefully just a few more chapters to go (I have a feeling this might end up a bit longer than I thought. I really wasn't planning on that).


	7. I Don't Want To Go

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Cartman watched as Kyle followed after Kenny who for some reason didn't want to be around Kyle or Cartman. Cartman had a feeling that Kenny was feeling too guilty about what happened to Stan that he assumed that Kenny just simply didn't want to talk to either one of them right now. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair before turning his attention back to his game. He sat back down on his bed and continued progressing through the No Mercy campaign. During the whole play through however it was obvious that Cartman was distracted as he kept dying more often than he normally would. After dying for the tenth time he paused the game and rubbed the back of his neck still feeling stressed about what was going on.

'With Stan gone and Kenny feeling whatever it is he's feeling I think things are going to change a lot more than I thought it would.' Cartman thought to himself as he obviously had thought about it before about what would have happened if one of his friends was suddenly gone though he never pictured it to be like this.

Cartman always figured that it really wouldn't be a big deal if one of his friends suddenly died because it wasn't like he really cared about what happened to them let alone even like them though there were a few times that he did save Kyle's life which of course Kyle doesn't know anything about since Cartman kept it to himself that to this day it made him wonder about why he really saved him. Now that Stan died however it seemed as if it affected Cartman a lot more than he'd like to admit. Cartman just shook his head still unable to believe that because of the choice he made to not stop Stan from going with his dad that it most likely caused not only Stan's death but somehow he had a very strong feeling that he wouldn't see Kyle or Kenny for a very long time once the funeral was over.

"Eric, sweetie Stan's mother just called to let us know about the time for the funeral on Sunday." Liane said making Cartman turn his head to look at her.

Eric swallowed shaking slightly.

"I don't want to go mom." Cartman told her trying to hide how hurt he still felt.

Liane looked at her son sadly.

"I know that you're hurting right now poopikins but this will be the last time that you will get to see him and it would mean so much to his family if all of his friends showed up to say goodbye." Liane told him.

"But I'm NOT one of his friends mom!" Cartman said as he choked on a sob; his eyes starting to tear up from starting to get too emotional, "I never was a friend of his. All I ever did was insult him, his girlfriend and get into fights with his super best friend! Stan is NOT going to want me there!"

To Cartman's horror he found himself once again unable to stop himself from breaking down as his mom walked into his room just as he started crying.

"I am so sick of this! This is not how I'm supposed to act! I'm supposed to act like I don't give a fuck and just continue to insult Kyle since HE'S the one who is supposed to be the one crying not me!" Cartman said as he felt his mom give him a hug.

"I'm sure you're wrong, Eric. If Stan didn't like you he wouldn't have hung out with you in the first place." Liane said trying to comfort him.

"That's because I made it to where he, Khal and Kenny were supposed to deal with me. I didn't give them another option." Cartman admitted as he quickly went to wipe away the tears from his face, "I never gave them a reason to like me. I bet Khal's wishing right now that it was me who had been killed instead of Stan."

"Sweetie don't say that. Kyle would never-"

"Don't mom. I know my 'friends' well enough to know that they DO hate me especially Khal. Now that Stan's gone I doubt I'll be hanging around with Kyle or Kenny anytime soon." Cartman told her.

Liane didn't say anything for a few seconds as she started rubbing Cartman's back attempting to calm him down.

"Listen sweetie if you don't want to go we don't have to but I really think you're going to regret not going." Liane said.

"I already regret not being friends with Stan so me not going to his funeral just doesn't matter at this point." Cartman replied at least slightly glad that Kyle or Kenny wasn't here to see him break down again.

"Well ok Eric but if you change your mind just let me know. I'll let Sharon know that we might not make it." Liane said before getting up and leaving the room.

It didn't take long until Kyle got word that the Cartman's weren't going to be at Stan's funeral that the next day (Saturday) he marched over to Cartman's house and started pounding on the front door. Liane wasn't home at the moment and Cartman kept himself locked up in his room that even if he heard the door or the phone he refused to go downstairs and answer either one. He was still playing video games in his room trying to keep his mind off of Stan until he heard Kyle yelling at him from outside his bedroom window. Figuring that Kyle wasn't going to leave until he answered him Cartman paused the game and went towards his window and opened it.

"What now you stupid Jew?" Cartman asked looking down at him completely annoyed.

"Open the fucking door fatass because it's clearly obvious that we need to talk and I already know that you wont answer the phone!" Kyle said looking and sounding angry.

Cartman sighed as he closed the window and went downstairs to open the house door. Once he opened it Kyle immediately went inside and he closed it behind him. Immediately noticing that Kenny wasn't with him that was the first thing that Cartman asked.

"So where's Kenny?"

"He wasn't at home when I went to go talk to him earlier. Speaking of which why are you and Kenny not going to Stan's funeral tomorrow?" Kyle asked crossing his arms as he looked at him.

Cartman frowned slightly.

"Kenny's not going?" Cartman asked slightly surprised.

"You didn't know? I figured it was because his dad was the one who…you know. So then why are you not going Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"What does it matter if I go or not Khal?" Cartman replied with a serious look on his face.

Kyle gritted his teeth as he glared angrily at him.

"Because you were his friend asshole! It matters!" Kyle told him.

Cartman shook his head as he looked at him.

"Be honest, Khal. I was NEVER a friend of his, yours or even Kenny's so I just don't see why I should go especially when I KNOW he wouldn't want me there in the first place." Cartman told him.

Kyle looked at him surprised to hear that, that was why he wasn't going.

"Cartman, Stan's not like that. I know for a fact that he would want you there. I think you're getting him confused with…" Kyle looked at him sadly, "…with me. I'm really sorry, Cartman."

Cartman raised an eyebrow completely taken aback by what Kyle just said.

"Why are YOU apologizing and WHAT makes you think that after all we've been through that Stan would even be ok with me going to his…funeral." Cartman could barely get out that last word as the look Kyle was giving him was starting to freak him out.

To Cartman it looked like Kyle could clearly see how much Stan's death was really affecting him and that was the one thing he didn't want anyone to know.

"Stop looking at me like that, Khal." Cartman said.

Kyle kept giving Cartman a sympathetic look.

"I didn't know that you cared THAT much Cartman." Kyle replied.

"I don't care you stupid Jew! I don't care if I never see him again! I don't care that you guys hate me! I don't-"

Cartman was cut off when Kyle made a move to get closer to him making Cartman back up until his back hit the front door of his house.

"Don't, Khal." Cartman said his body tensing as he realized that Kyle was just trying to hug him.

"Cartman there's no need for you to keep lying to yourself or to me because I already know. Why are you trying so hard to convince yourself that you don't care?" Kyle asked looking at him worriedly.

'Because I'm not supposed to care.' Cartman thought to himself but didn't say anything to Kyle as he kept staring at him wondering if he was still going to try and hug him.

Kyle just looked at him for a few seconds before sighing and shaking his head.

"Look, Cartman just go to Stan's funeral tomorrow alright. Believe me when I say this but he never hated you ok. In fact I was the only person who hated you so just leave Stan and Kenny out of it because Kenny doesn't hate you either." Kyle told him.

Cartman frowned slightly as he looked at him.

"What do you mean 'hated', Khal?" Cartman asked.

Kyle took a deep breath in and then let it out.

"It means that I don't hate you anymore like I did before and it's not because Stan's gone. You just seem different lately and not just because of what just happened with Stan." Kyle replied looking at him.

Cartman looked at him completely confused.

"What are you talking about, Khal?" Cartman asked.

Kyle smiled at him slightly before shaking his head.

"It's nothing. Listen if you see Kenny at all today or at least before Stan's funeral tomorrow could you maybe encourage him to go? He's been trying to avoid me since Stan's accident and he wont come by my house when I ask his mom to let him know that I need to talk to him." Kyle said.

"Then how did you get him to come over here yesterday?" Cartman asked.

"I luckily caught him just as he was leaving his house." Kyle bit his lip, "I think he's feeling way too guilty about what happened and I tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault but he just didn't want to listen."

Cartman was thinking about telling him that it was also partially his fault for what happened but decided to not say anything.

"If I see Kenny I'll let him know." Cartman told him.

"Thanks, Cartman. I'm still going to go look for him myself so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah I guess." Cartman said not looking at him.

Kyle looked at him worriedly as Cartman moved out of the way so Kyle could leave.

"It's going to be ok, Cartman." Kyle said putting his hand on Cartman's shoulder (Cartman's body tensed when Kyle did that) before walking out the door.

Author's Note: Like all of my other notes I just wanted to say thank you (you guys are probably getting annoyed by me saying it so often) to all of my readers, fav/follows and especially to my reviewers who help inspire me to keep this story going (SouthParkWritter197, Guest). It's really hard to come up with a new chapter whether I have an idea ready for it or not plus it's time consuming which is why I don't update to often plus I want to give readers time to read my latest chapter as well so that's why I take a bit of time before updating again. Anyway I hope this chapter was good. I always write during the night time so I'm always worried if my chapter sucks or not because I sometimes wonder if I'd pay better attention during the day or not but eh I think it turned out ok so anyway until next time.


	8. It's Not Going To Be Ok

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Cartman sighed as he watched Kyle close the door behind him.

"No it's not going to be ok, Khal." Cartman whispered to himself feeling extremely guilty about the fact that he was partially to blame for what happened to Stan, "It's never going to be ok. Kenny knows that and that's why he's avoiding him. No I already know that there's no way that I can possibly show my face to either Kenny or Khal ever again. After tomorrow things ARE going to be different."

If someone had told Cartman that he would be feeling the way he was currently feeling right now about a friend dying he never would have believed them as he was feeling way too hurt and guilty that he wasn't sure if he could even face either Kyle or Kenny tomorrow at Stan's funeral.

'To think that I didn't care before now I'm really regretting it.' Cartman thought to himself as he made his way back towards his room.

The rest of the day went by so fast to Cartman that he was already starting to feel even more nervous about going to Stan's funeral tomorrow.

'It's too late to cancel now. I already told Khal that I would go.' Cartman thought to himself as he was playing Gears of War, 'I should probably call Kenny just to make sure he is going tomorrow."

Cartman paused the game and went downstairs to use the house phone. He quickly dialed Kenny's house and waited for someone to answer the phone.

"Hello?" Kenny's mother answered.

"Uh hey Mrs. McCormick it's Eric. Is Kenny home?" Cartman asked.

"No he's not he's been gone since this morning." She replied.

Cartman wasn't surprised to hear that as he figured that Kenny was doing everything he can to avoid talking to either him or Kyle.

"Oh well when he gets home can you at least tell him that he HAS to show up to Stan's funeral tomorrow?"

"Yeah I'll tell him. I'm so sorry about what my husband did, Eric. Stan was your friend too." She said.

Cartman pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath in and then let it out trying to keep himself calm enough to finish talking to Kenny's mom.

"…Thanks." Cartman replied, "I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"We'll be there. Did you want me to have Kenny call you when he gets home?" Kenny's mom asked.

"No it's fine just as long as he knows that he needs to go to the funeral." Cartman said.

"Alright then bye, Eric." She said before hanging up.

Cartman hung up the phone and went back upstairs to continue playing his game. The next morning Cartman was very reluctant to get out of bed as it meant that he had to get ready to go to Stan's funeral. He didn't get up until his mom came in and told him that he needed to get ready because the funeral was going to be held within a couple of hours time. It didn't take long for him to get ready and as soon as he was his mom called out to him from the living room saying that Kyle was on the phone wanting to talk to him. Cartman sighed as he was hoping that he could avoid Kyle and Kenny but it doesn't look like that was going to be the case.

"Yeah?" Cartman asked once he put the phone to his ear.

"Wow dude I was seriously expecting a 'what do you want Jew' not a 'yeah'. You getting ready or what? Don't tell me I have to go over there and make you get ready." Kyle said.

"Relax, Khal I'm already ready. Did you talk to Kenny yet?" Cartman asked hoping that he didn't have to talk to Kyle for very long.

"No but I did tell his mom to tell him that he needs to show up for the funeral today so hopefully he shows up." Kyle told him.

"Yeah I talked to his mom too. She said they would be there." Cartman replied wanting to get off the phone.

"You sound annoyed, Cartman. Not a morning person?"

'Today I'm not.' Cartman thought to himself.

Cartman didn't realize that he said that out loud which made Kyle stop talking. Cartman frowned slightly when Kyle suddenly stopped talking.

"Still there Jew boy?" Cartman asked.

"…Yeah. I just can't believe that this is happening, Cartman. I mean Stan's been my super best friend ever since we were kids." Kyle said sadly making Cartman wince.

Cartman didn't know how to respond as he heard Kyle chuckle.

"Now who's the one being quiet?" Kyle said.

Cartman sighed.

"Listen, Khal I'll just see you when we get there alright? I don't really feel like talking right now."

There was silence on the other end of the line before Kyle sighed.

"Cartman I know that you're hurting just like me and Kenny are but I don't think it's a good idea to just shut yourself off." Kyle told him.

"I already told you I don't care, Khal."

"And I already told you that I know you're lying. It's clearly obvious that you're trying to hide how hurt you really are but it's obviously not working. Cartman just admit that Stan's death-"

Cartman chose that moment to quickly hang up the phone.

"Everything alright sweetie?" Liane asked as she looked at her son.

Cartman nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah Khal just wanted to make sure that I was getting ready to go."

"Well we still have some time. Do you want me to make you something to eat or should I get you something while we're on our way?" Liane asked.

"Doesn't matter." Cartman replied.

Liane looked at him worriedly as he both looked and sounded hurt.

"I'll quickly make us something to eat before we leave." Liane told him before heading towards the kitchen.

As soon as they were done Cartman went outside and got in the car while Liane made sure the house was locked before also making her way to the car. They didn't say anything to each other during the whole drive as Liane already knew just how hard this was for Cartman and didn't want to upset him further as she occasionally glanced at him. Cartman just kept looking out the window still not sure why he was still going despite the fact that he did tell Kyle that he would go but then again it wasn't like he was going to hang around him after this. He considered telling his mom to turn the car around but decided against it as he knew it was way too late to go back. For a second he thought he caught a glimpse of Stan when he was younger which made him freak out for a second before he realized that it was just his imagination as he was looking in the direction of where he thought he saw him.

"You alright poopikins?" Liane asked making Cartman jump slightly.

"Yeah I'm just not feeling good that's all." Cartman told her still looking out the window.

'What the fuck am I seeing things now? That's just fucking great. Like I need to add one more thing to try to hide.' Cartman thought to himself.

"We're almost there sweetie." Liane told him.

It was clearly obvious when they got there because there was a lot of people dressed up for the occasion as they stood near their parked cars just talking to each other. Not only that but Cartman could spot the Marsh's as well as the Broflovski's. Liane started looking for a place to park and once she parked both her and Cartman got out and made their way towards Randy and Sharon.

"Oh Liane I'm so glad that you and Eric were able to make it." Sharon said the moment they reached her.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Sharon. How are you doing?" Liane asked.

"Not so good. It's been hard losing Stanley and Randy thinks it's entirely his fault." Sharon said sadly.

"We both know it's not his fault. Does Randy know who hit him?"

"Yes and Randy says that he should have seen him coming and that's why he's blaming himself." Sharon told her.

Cartman watched as Sharon and his mom continued to talk and then turned his gaze to Randy who was talking to Gerald.

"It's nice to know that you came, Cartman."

Cartman turned his head and saw that Kyle was standing next to him looking at him with a serious expression on his face. Cartman just shrugged as he looked down at the floor.

"I doubt Stan would even care if I was here or not. I only came because I did know him since we were kids." Cartman replied.

Kyle looked at him worriedly already knowing that Cartman was still in complete denial.

"If Stan were here I'm sure he'd be hurt by what you're saying. He did care about you Cartman even though you've always been an ass to us and that's something that you're regretting right now isn't it? The fact that you never attempted to be his friend." Kyle said making Cartman wince.

That was one thing that Cartman hated about Kyle was that he could easily read people and obviously there was no point in lying to him now anyway.

"What does it matter, Khal? It's way too late for me to regret anything or even say I'm sorry. I shouldn't even bother caring now when he's already dead because that's not how I acted when he was alive. I don't even know why I'm here when all I've ever said was that I never cared about what happened to you guys!" Cartman told him as he looked at him. He was at least thankful that everyone else around them was loud enough to not hear what he was saying.

Kyle just looked at him sadly watching as Cartman started to tear up from him starting to get upset.

"You just wanted to be his friend Cartman but you didn't know how so instead you made it to where he had to pay attention to you. It's most likely the same with me and Kenny isn't it?"

Cartman didn't say anything as he just looked away from him; the tears starting to blur his vision.

"Cartman…" Kyle said as he reached his hand out to put it on Cartman's shoulder.

Cartman quickly moved away not wanting to be touched for fear of completely breaking down and letting Kyle try to comfort him. Wanting to change the subject Cartman wiped away the tears from his eyes and looked back at Kyle.

"So has Kenny showed up yet or no?" Cartman asked.

Kyle sighed shaking his head.

"No. I'm hoping he'll show up by the time they bring Stan."

Cartman waited a few seconds before asking.

"If he doesn't show up what are you going to do?"

Kyle just looked at him and sighed.

"There's nothing I can do. I understand why he doesn't want to come but Stan was one of his best friends so I figured he would show up anyway. Besides it's not like I can hate him or anything. You and him are all I have left. I'm not all that close to Clyde and the others in case you were going to mention them." Kyle said.

Cartman looked at him with a guilty look on his face making Kyle look at him with a frown on his face.

"What is it, Cartman?" Kyle asked.

Before Cartman could respond he heard Butters yell out Kenny's name making both him and Kyle turn to see where he was at.

"Thank god he showed. Hey, Kenny!" Kyle said as he ran towards him.

Cartman clenched his fists tightly already knowing how Kyle was going to react once he told him that Stan's accident was partially his fault.

Author's Note: You guys know the routine. I'd like to say thank you to everyone whose reading my story and especially to those who fav/follow my story so far. It's always hard for me to make a new chapter especially when I have no idea how to start it off. This chapter took me forever to write for some reason as I'm up a lot longer than usual to just finish the chapter. I also want to say thank you to my reviewers (SouthParkWritter197 and suhamakittenII) for reviewing my last chapter. I already knew it was you suhamagirl because of your username so its awesome that you finally made a new account. I hope this chapter was good because like I said I'm writing it way late at night when I should be in bed so anyway until next time I hope you guys enjoyed.


	9. The Funeral

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

Cartman watched as Kyle headed towards Kenny who obviously had a pained look on his face from just being there. Kenny's mom went to go talk to Sharon while Kenny just looked at the ground; avoiding looking at Kyle as he felt Kyle give him a hug.

"Dude where the hell have you been? I was worried sick that something might have happened." Kyle told him before letting him go and looking at him, "I'm glad you're here, Kenny because I don't think that I can deal with this all by myself."

"I shouldn't be here, Kyle. I know that I didn't directly kill Stan but I could have stopped my dad from drinking." Kenny said still refusing to look at him.

Kyle put both his hands on Kenny's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Kenny, what happened to Stan isn't your fault. There was nothing that you could have done to stop your dad from doing what he did. Please don't blame yourself for the choices he made because I need you…and maybe Cartman." Kyle said.

Cartman snorted shaking his head as he made his way towards them.

"Hey, Kenny." Cartman said looking at him.

Kenny didn't say anything as he clenched his fists tightly at his sides still looking at the ground. After a few seconds he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry." Kenny whispered.

Kenny had said it so quietly that for a second both Cartman and Kyle weren't sure they heard him until he said it again just a little louder making them both wince. While Kyle was attempting to talk some sense into Kenny, Cartman watched as the vehicle that was bringing Stan's body started coming into view.

"Looks like they're here." Sharon said making everyone else turn to watch as the vehicle pulled up.

Cartman immediately turned around and walked away not even wanting to see the vehicle or Stan's coffin even though he already knew that he was going to see Stan's coffin regardless. He looked around the area and saw that there were a lot of graves though there was still quite a bit of space left for more as he realized just how big this area really was. Not having noticed that someone was right behind him he jumped when he heard Butters suddenly call out his name. He quickly turned around and looked at him slightly annoyed.

"What the fuck, Butters? Don't do that." Cartman told him before sighing.

"Aw gee I'm awful sorry, Eric. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You haven't been in class lately and I was starting to get worried that you might be sick or something." Butters told him as he looked at him worriedly, "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Butters." Cartman replied before turning to look away from him.

"You don't seem like you're fine. You haven't been in school since Stan's accident."

"What are you implying, Butters?" Cartman asked turning to look back at him.

"I'm just saying that maybe you weren't skipping school because you were sick. Eric, I already know that you're most likely going to say that you don't care but I can already tell just how bad Stan's death is affecting you." Butters replied.

Cartman just looked at him completely annoyed.

"What the fuck is it with you and Khal thinking that I care about what happened to Stan? I only came because my mom forced me to come." Cartman said.

Butters sighed.

"Eric, we've known you long enough to know when something's changed especially considering who you are. If you're trying to hide how you're feeling you're not doing a very good job of it."

Cartman glared angrily at him making Butters wince.

"I. DON'T. CARE. If you and Khal really knew me then you would know that I couldn't care less about any of you assholes because I hate you guys remember? As far as I'm concerned Stan…"

Cartman suddenly found himself unable to finish what he was going to say. He knew exactly what he was going to say but somehow he was unable to get it out. Butters just stared at him surprised that Cartman didn't finish what he was going to say.

"You were saying, Eric?" Butters asked wondering if Cartman was still going to try and finish what he was trying to say.

Cartman swallowed before shaking his head.

"Nothing." Cartman replied.

Cartman winced when he saw people starting to get Stan's coffin out of the vehicle and placed it on the ground. Butters frowned slightly noticing the look on Cartman's face before turning around to see what he was seeing.

"I guess we'll be saying our goodbyes to him sooner than we thought huh Eric?" Butters said before turning back to look at him.

Cartman sighed.

"Shut up, Butters." Cartman told him before walking away from him.

Cartman decided to just walk around looking to see who decided to show up. People were still showing up and to Cartman's slight surprise he saw Wendy, who was with her parents and a few of her friends, was crying hysterically. He just rolled his eyes thinking that if she cared about Stan at all she wouldn't have treated him the way she did.

'What the hell is she doing here? It's not like she doesn't have other guys to be with her.' Cartman thought to himself.

After walking around for a bit he saw that everyone that was friends with Stan was currently there as well as obviously his whole family from both his mom and dad's side of the family.

'Damn. Never knew Stan had such a big family.' Cartman thought as he saw just how many cousins, aunts and uncles he had.

Once it looked like just about everyone had shown up and it was closer to the time of when they were actually going to bury Stan the people who had brought his coffin as well as some of his family members went to pick up the coffin and started moving it towards where he would be buried. Cartman watched as everyone else followed right behind them.

"Let's go, fatass." Kyle said the moment he saw him; completely hurt from the way he sounded.

Kenny was right next to Kyle with a look of despair on his face as he still kept staring at the ground. Cartman at first just looked at them noticing that they both looked like they hadn't slept in days before following right behind them not saying anything. As soon as they arrived at the spot where Stan would be buried, Kyle and Kenny went to where their families were at and stood next to them. Cartman however decided to stay behind everyone else so that way no one could see him cry in case he broke down without warning. Surprisingly he was able to see the coffin from where he was standing and no one could possible see him cry unless they turned to look at him but there was no way that was going to happen as everyone was either too busy focusing on the person speaking in front of the coffin or they were too busy crying their eyes out. Either way it looked like no one would notice or care if Cartman just suddenly started crying because already a bunch of people were crying. He didn't even bother paying attention to whatever was being said as already he felt himself on the verge of breaking down but stubbornly he tried to hold it in as best as he could. He couldn't see where Kyle, Kenny or Butters was at but he already knew that they had to of started crying by now especially Kyle. Cartman didn't want to admit it but it was really hard to watch as one of his friends was about to be buried and he really REALLY didn't want to be there. All he could think about was that it shouldn't have been Stan and was surprisingly also finding himself thinking that it should have been him instead (at least he wouldn't have to deal with what he was feeling right now). Suddenly during the middle of the speech Cartman saw Kenny running towards where the cars were parked making Kyle chase after him.

"Kenny, come back!" Kyle yelled out.

Cartman decided to follow after them as he watched Kyle quickly catch up to Kenny and grabbed a hold of his arm stopping him from going anywhere. As soon as Cartman caught up to them he stopped just a few feet from Kyle as Kyle struggled to get a firm grip on Kenny's arm because he was still trying to get away from him.

"Kenny, stop. Please just stop and look at me. I need you to tell me what's wrong. Everyone knows it's not your fault so I can't understand why you would think that it would be your fault. You need to open up to me Ken because I can't deal with losing another one of my friends. I just…I can't." Kyle told him looking at him seriously his eyes slightly red from crying.

Kenny just shook his head still refusing to turn around and look at him.

"You wouldn't understand, Kyle. You're family isn't messed up like mine is." Kenny replied.

Kyle growled as he forced Kenny to turn around and look at him.

"Try me." Kyle told him.

Kenny finally made eye contact with Kyle.

"My family has always been poor and do you wanna know why? It's because all my parents ever do is drink and do drugs. They have never once even attempted to get a job let alone even try to take care of their own children. So then how do you think we're still doing ok at home huh? It's because every time I go to either yours, Stan's or Cartman's place I ALWAYS take food home. Have you ever paid attention to how much food I take? At least enough to keep my family alive and even then we still rely on other people's donations to help us out or at least that was the case before so now who do you think the responsibility has fallen on Kyle? ME!" Kenny told him, "My parents have never been the kind to be responsible so I'm the one who has to do everything to keep my family alive and guess what that means that I have to be aware of what my parents are doing ESPECIALLY my dad considering he's the worst one out of both my parents. You can't possibly understand how I feel because you don't have my life, Kyle! You're not the one who has to constantly save up money just so you can feed your own family! You're not the one whose father constantly likes to get drunk and get in fights a lot with his wife and you're not the one who was supposed to make sure that your dad didn't get drunk especially when you KNEW that he was going to go out and possibly get into a fight with some random guy because that's exactly what he always does, Kyle!"

Kyle just looked at him in shock as he saw the tears fall down Kenny's face. Cartman already knew just how fucked up Kenny's family was but he didn't know just how much responsibility had fallen on Kenny. Kyle swallowed.

"Kenny, your dad is a full grown adult and with you just starting high school I don't think there was much that you could have done to stop him from leaving the house and getting drunk. You have to trust me when I say that it still isn't your fault. You never should have been burdened with that much responsibility at such a young age to begin with so once again that falls on your parents especially your dad. There's no need to feel guilty about Stan ok because if he was still here he would also say that it's not your fault and that he doesn't blame you."

Kenny didn't say anything as he shut his eyes tightly as more tears poured down his face. Kyle quickly pulled him into a hug trying to comfort him. After a few seconds Kyle let go and looked at him.

"We should get back so we can say our goodbyes." Kyle told him.

Kenny nodded as he wiped the tears away from his face. Turning around Kyle didn't know that Cartman had followed them so he jumped slightly when he saw Cartman.

"Dude, were you standing there the entire…Cartman?" Kyle asked noticing the look on Cartman's face.

Cartman was feeling extremely guilty now as he realized that the only reason why Kenny was feeling guilty was because Cartman didn't stop Stan from going with his dad in the first place. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides as he kept trying to tell himself to not break down right there as he was fighting with himself to not cry.

"Cartman? Shit what's wrong?" Kyle asked worriedly as Cartman shut his eyes tightly pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand.

"Nothing. Let's just get back." Cartman said before quickly turning around and heading back towards where everyone else was at.

"Cartman, wait!" Kyle yelled out as both he and Kenny went to catch up with him.

As Cartman got closer to where everyone else was at he saw something that was sitting on Stan's coffin.

'What the fuck? Who is that sitting…'

Cartman's eyes went wide in horror as he saw that it was Stan; blood running down his face from where he had hit his head in the car accident. He just sat there looking at him which was starting to freak the hell out of Cartman. He could feel his heart pounding a lot faster than normal and before he realized it he lost consciousness.

Author's Note: Ok so I'm sure you guys know by now what I usually say in my author's notes so I guess I don't have to say it because you guys already know. It's the usual saying thanks to everybody especially to my one reviewer SouthParkWritter197 for reviewing my last chapter. Though I have to say since I'm not getting a whole lot of reviews currently I'm going to take this time and give myself at least a month off of working on this story so there will be no update for the next month. I might update my l4d story since I have a whole bunch of people waiting for me to continue but who knows. Either way there will be no update for next month so hopefully I'll be back the following month so anyway bye. Hopefully I wont get too lazy and end up not coming back to this story. I hope that doesn't happen so until next time bye.


	10. I'm Sorry

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

"Poopikins wake up honey."

Cartman groaned as he slowly started to wake up. The first thing that he noticed once he was awake was that he was back at home sleeping in his bedroom. His eyes widened when he realized that the last thing he remembered was being at Stan's funeral and seeing Stan sitting on top of his coffin looking directly at him. He immediately sat up in bed and looked at his mom who was standing right next to his bed.

"What happened?" Cartman asked confused as to why he was in his own bedroom.

"What are you talking about, Eric?" Liane asked frowning slightly at the slightly panicked look on her son's face.

"Back at Stan's funeral!" Cartman said surprised that his mom was confused, "Last thing I saw was…never mind. Did I pass out or something?"

"Sweetie are you feeling ok? You must have just had a nightmare because I don't know what you're talking about." Liane replied.

"It wasn't a nightmare, mom! You were there! I don't know why you would think that I'm lying but…"

Cartman cut himself off as he looked around the room and saw that his bedroom looked different. He even took a closer look at his mom and realized that she looked suddenly younger.

'What the fuck?' Cartman thought to himself.

"Eric, sweetie maybe you should stay home from school today. I'll call the school to let them know that you're not feeling well." Liane said before walking out of the room.

Cartman continued to look around his room confused as to why his room suddenly looked the way it did. It took him a few minutes to figure out that his room looked very familiar to him and as he realized this his eyes went wide as he hurriedly got out of bed and ran towards the bathroom. The moment he saw himself in the mirror he was shocked to discover that he looked exactly like he did when he was ten years old.

"What the fuck is going on?" Cartman said to himself not sure what was happening to him right now, "Was everything up to Stan's death just a dream or am I in a dream right now?"

It was really hard for Cartman to tell the difference between a dream and reality because of the fact that the whole experience with Stan dying plus all the memories he had with his friends felt very real, but so did the moment he was having right now; it also felt real which only confused him more as to what was happening.

'Jesus Christ I don't know what to believe anymore.' Cartman thought to himself as he went back to his room to change into his everyday clothes.

As soon as he was done changing and getting ready Cartman went downstairs and was just about to head out the door when his mom stopped him.

"Sweetie, I already called the school to let them know that you're not going today." Liane told him.

"I'm just going out for a walk, mom. I don't really feel like being at home right now." Cartman told her not looking back at her.

"Would you like me to make you something to eat before you leave?" Liane asked.

Cartman shook his head.

"Not really hungry." Cartman said before opening the door and closing it behind him.

Once Cartman started making his way around town he immediately noticed the differences between now and what he was currently used to. There was already quite a few stores that Cartman remembered closing down as well as where brand new stores were supposed to be. He spent the next couple of hours just going around town thinking that this didn't make any sense to him at all because he knew for a fact that these stores did indeed close down and that there was no way that, that was a dream. He had lost track of time and had completely forgotten where he was at that when he finally realized where he was at his heart skipped a beat as he realized that he was in the area where Stan's accident had happened. It was like a scene in his head that just wouldn't go away. Cartman kept trying to keep himself calm as he took a deep breath in and then let it out but it wasn't really working since it was still so fresh in his mind he could still see the accident right in front of him even though all that was in front of him was moving cars. For a split second he thought he saw Stan standing in the middle of oncoming traffic and was looking directly at Cartman with blood falling down his face from his wound.

"Cartman…"

Cartman's eyes went wide in horror as Stan reached his hand out almost as if he wanted to grab him. He wasn't sure if this was just in his head or not but to Cartman it looked very real to him as he was seriously thinking of just running away.

"Cartman, what the fuck are you doing all the way out here?!"

Cartman turned his head and saw that Kyle, Kenny and Stan were running towards him. He had turned completely white when he saw Stan.

"Uh…what are you guys doing here?" Cartman asked before glancing to see if ghost Stan was still staring at him but he was gone.

"Looking for you, fatass what do you think? You don't look sick to me so what's your excuse for not going to school today huh?" Kyle asked crossing his arms and looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Cartman looked away from them and refused to even look at the spot where ghost Stan was at just a moment ago.

"It's nothing, Khal. Just go back to school." Cartman replied sounding completely stressed.

"Everything alright, Cartman? You look like something's wrong." Stan asked as he went towards him and put a hand on his shoulder.

Cartman shivered and quickly pulled away from Stan making Stan, Kyle and Kenny look at him surprised and slightly worried.

"Dude, you ok?" Kenny asked.

Cartman couldn't respond as he was trying so hard to keep his emotions in check but was failing miserably not only because he saw ghost Stan but also because of the Stan he was seeing right now. He refused to turn around and look at his friends as he was already starting to shake slightly and tears were already starting to fall down his face. He felt like he was going to start sobbing at any moment so he decided to just walk away from them before he actually started crying.

"Cartman, where are you going?" Kyle asked as he hurriedly grabbed Cartman's wrist.

Cartman bit his lip trying to force himself to not start sobbing but unfortunately for him he started to sob making the other boys look at him in shock.

"Dude are you crying?" Stan asked completely surprised as he moved to be in front of Cartman and saw that he was indeed crying making Stan start to worry, "Cartman, what happened?"

Kyle let go of Cartman's wrist and moved to where he was standing next to Stan. He was shocked to find that Cartman was genuinely crying.

"Dude…" Kyle said not sure what else to say as Cartman had never cried like this before.

Cartman wrapped his arms around himself and with his nails he dug deeply into his skin to try to stop himself from crying but once again his emotions were just too strong that finally he just let it all out as he fell to his knees and started crying. Kenny started trying to calm him down by rubbing circles on his back as he looked at him worriedly.

'Dammit this is not what I wanted to do! Aw screw it most likely this is all in my head anyway.' Cartman thought to himself trying to convince himself that him breaking down right now wasn't really going to matter.

Stan and Kyle exchanged worried looks as they both got closer to Cartman and Stan kneeled down in front of him and once again put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cartman, it's ok whatever it is we're here to help you." Stan told him.

This only made Cartman cry louder as Stan slowly pulled him into a hug and whispered 'it's ok' to him. After a few minutes of comforting him Cartman was finally able to calm down long enough to be able to say what was bothering him. He took a deep breath in and then let it out.

"I'm sorry, Stan." Cartman said without looking at him.

Stan frowned slightly wondering why he was apologizing.

"For what, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"For the way that I treated you, Kyle and Kenny. I should have been more of a friend to you guys but I wasn't and I'm sorry for how I've always treated you. I'm sorry that all I've ever been was a complete asshole and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this before…" Cartman stopped himself as he slowly wrapped his arms around Stan.

"Before what, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"…Before you died, Stan." Cartman whispered.

Author's Note: I'm sorry that this chapter came out so late. I guess I should have said two months instead of one but anyway here it is. I'm also sorry about how short this chapter is but guess what? This story is almost over. I think it just needs two more chapters and that's it one for Kyman and the other for Stanman. Anyway I just got a new Gears game and the Taken King DLC for Destiny that I've been busy playing so I really have no idea when I'll update next time. I was thinking of putting this on break for now but instead I decided to post another chapter instead to let you guys know what I'm up to. Anyway I'd like to thank those who continue to read and like this story and especially to my reviewers who help keep this story going so thanks SouthParkWritter197, AriJustAri and meri (guest). I'm sorry that I can't promise that I will update soon but I'll try to get back to it when I can. Hope you guys liked this chapter by the way.


	11. Waking Up

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

"What the fuck are you talking about, fatass?" Kyle asked completely surprised and shocked that Cartman was suddenly apologizing to them.

"Yeah dude Stan's right here so why on earth would you say that he's dead, Cartman?" Kenny asked looking at him completely confused about as to why Cartman was acting the way he was acting.

Stan just looked at him as Cartman wiped away the tears that were still falling down his face.

"What does it matter if I tell you guys? For one you guys aren't real and two you wouldn't believe me even if I told you." Cartman replied looking away from them.

Kyle raised an eyebrow as he started to wonder if something was seriously wrong with Cartman.

"Dude did you hit your head or something because seriously Cartman I think you're going insane." Kyle said.

"Maybe he just had a nightmare." Kenny said looking at Kyle making Cartman grit his teeth.

"It wasn't a nightmare goddammit!" Cartman yelled making Kyle and Kenny look at him in surprise, "All the time that went by until the day Stan was buried felt very fucking real to me so don't you dare tell me that it was a nightmare because it wasn't! I can still see that fucking accident that your dad caused, Kenny!"

"…What?" Kenny said his eyes going wide.

Stan watched, with a look of surprise on his face, the emotions that Cartman was clearly having just from looking at his face rising to the surface. He could clearly tell that Cartman was angry, hurt and if it was possible it also seemed like he was guilty about something.

"Your dad was the one who got drunk, stole a truck and drove right in to Stan and his dad killing Stan in the process!" Cartman said feeling himself shake with anger as he clenched his fists tightly at his sides.

"WHAT?!" Kyle yelled out his eyes wide in horror just as Kenny turned completely white, "Cartman you seriously can't expect for us to believe what you're saying do you?"

"Does it look like I'm lying, Khal?" Cartman asked looking at him.

One look at Cartman and Kyle could already tell from how angry and hurt Cartman looked that he wasn't making it up making him start to worry.

"But Stan's still here so when-"

"When we're in high school. We just started our freshman year and it was like only a month before Stan's accident happened." Cartman told him, "School was out for the day so we waited for our parents to come and get us. I was so used to it being just your mom that came and got you, Stan so when it was your dad who came instead I got a little worried about it and tried to stop you from going with him because I was worried that something was going to happen I just didn't know that something was going to happen so in a way it's my fault that you ended up dying Stan and I'm so sorry that I didn't stop you. Your accident happened just right next to us." Cartman said looking in the direction of where he saw ghost Stan.

Stan didn't know what to say as he looked at where Cartman was looking before looking back at him. Kyle and Kenny found themselves unable to say anything as they just watched the cars in front of them and tried to imagine what had happened. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence Stan decided to say something.

"You know it wasn't your fault right, Cartman? Accidents happen all the time." Stan told him.

Cartman felt himself start to get emotional again as he swallowed the lump that he suddenly got in his throat.

"Yeah it was my fault, Stan. It's because of me that you're dead and Kenny's blaming himself for not making sure that his dad didn't get drunk." Cartman said his eyes completely red from crying and was struggling to keep himself calm enough to keep talking.

Kenny started crying when Cartman brought that up making Kyle look at Kenny worriedly as he went to try and comfort him. Stan looked at Cartman worriedly.

"No it's not dude. You said it yourself that you didn't know that something was going to happen." Stan said.

"I had a feeling, Stan so I should have…wait you believe me?" Cartman asked surprised as he looked at him.

Stan just looked at him for a few seconds before finally responding.

"…Yeah."

Cartman's eyes went wide in horror as he saw blood run down Stan's face making Cartman start to back up. Before Cartman could have a chance to run away Stan quickly grabbed a hold of Cartman's wrist.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!" Cartman said as he tried to pull away from him.

Stan just looked at him completely hurt.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Cartman. You're one of my best friends." Stan told him.

This completely shattered Cartman's heart as he just bursted into tears. He felt Stan pull him into a hug. They sat there for a few minutes until Cartman finally calmed down.

"I don't blame or hate you for what happened so you shouldn't blame yourself either and besides I'm pretty sure Kyle still needs you." Stan said.

Cartman snorted.

"Yeah right this is Khal we're talking about, Stan. He hates me remember plus he told me the only reason why he stuck around me was because you and Kenny felt sorry for me."

"Yeah well spending so much time with certain people eventually makes you think that they'll always be around. Cartman, with me gone and Kenny not doing so good Kyle's really going to need you to be around so I think you should wake up now." Stan said making Cartman frown slightly.

"What do you mean 'wake up' is this a dream?" Cartman asked.

Stan shrugged.

"I really have no idea what this is but all I do know is that you need to wake up because Kyle is not doing too well right now." Stan told him.

"How do you…" Cartman was about to ask but then he remembered when he saw Stan back at Stan's funeral so he assumed that Stan was watching over them, "…I'm not sure if I can wake up just like that, Stan."

Stan just smiled at him.

"You'll wake up when you need to don't worry about it. Hey, Cartman?"

"Yeah?"

"I always knew that you cared. Thanks, Eric."

Before Cartman could process what was happening everything turned dark around him. Next thing he knew he felt himself lying on a bed. He felt like he hadn't moved in ages as he slowly opened his eyes groaning slightly.

"Cartman?"

His vision was blurry at first but once he was able to focus he recognized the person who was on his right side.

"Khal?" Cartman said his voice completely hoarse.

Kyle smiled at him weakly.

"You're finally awake." Kyle said.

Cartman frowned slightly surprised to see that Kyle looked awful. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his hair was a mess and he looked a hell of a lot thinner then when Cartman last saw him.

"Where am I?" Cartman asked not sure where he was at.

"You're in the hospital dude. You've been in here a little over a year now." Kyle told him.

"What?!" Cartman said completely shocked and horrified.

"Yeah I was starting to think that you were never going to wake up. It's good to see that you woke up though." Kyle said.

"Last thing I remember was being at Stan's funeral. What happened?" Cartman asked.

"After I had that talk with Kenny you looked like you were hurt about something and when I asked you what was wrong you started making your way back towards where Stan was being buried and by the time we caught up to you for some reason you fainted. We started to panic when we couldn't wake you up so your mom ended up bringing you here and by the time the funeral was over and we got to the hospital the doctor told us that you had a panic attack of some sort and that you'd wake up eventually. Days passed and you still hadn't woken up and finally the doctor said that you had gone into a coma so somehow you put yourself into a coma not sure how." Kyle replied.

Cartman didn't say anything for a few seconds before he decided to ask about Kenny.

"So where's Kenny?" Cartman asked.

Kyle shook his head as he looked at Cartman sadly.

"Kenny's not Kenny anymore. Ever since Stan died and you ended up in a coma Kenny just lost it. He started doing drugs and drinking a lot of alcohol and just straight up avoids hanging out with me. I've tried to talk to him but he just ignores me and now he's hanging around people that he shouldn't be hanging out with. I'm surprised he hasn't overdosed on anything by now." Kyle sighed clearly stressed out.

'Looks like Stan was right. Both Kyle and Kenny aren't doing too good right now.' Cartman thought to himself.

"Listen, Cartman. I know that we've had our differences but I need you to know that I'm sorry for the way I treated you before. I just…with Stan gone and Kenny self-destructing I just can't deal with this by myself. It was hard enough when Stan died and then when you put yourself into a coma and Kenny decided to avoid me I started to lose it. I was depressed and I found myself unable to eat or sleep as well as I started to wonder if I could even continue living the way I was. I was thinking of you know killing myself but I didn't do it because I knew that there was still a chance that you could wake up so I came by here often just to see how you were and during those times I'd find myself talking to you thinking about what you would have probably said if you were awake. I know that you don't like me but I'd rather have you insulting me than me being by myself unable to cope with my life falling apart." Kyle said looking at him.

Cartman looked at him with a hurt look on his face making Kyle frown slightly.

"What is it, Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"…It's my fault that Stan died and Kenny's the way he is right now." Cartman told him.

"No it's not, Cartman. You weren't the one who killed Stan." Kyle said looking at him like he was shocked that those words came out of his mouth.

"Do you remember when school was out that day and I tried to stop Stan from going with his dad?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah?" Kyle said wondering where this was going.

"…I had a feeling that something was going to happen to him." Cartman reluctantly admitted.

Author's Note: Ok so I was going to make this chapter a little longer but its late and I wanna go to bed so this chapter was half kyman and half stanman so the next and last chapter hopefully will have both in it as well. Not exactly what I intended but oh well so much for stanman being alternate ending. I guess alternate ending is real ending unless you're good with the real sad ending to end like halfway through next chapter then ok. As always I would like to thank all those who read and fav/follow my story and especially to my reviewers who I always look forward to reading what they think about the story so thank you SouthParkWritter197, AriJustAri and Guest for reviewing my last chapter. It means so much to me for your continued support and hopefully I'll have this finished by the end of December so until sometime next month bye.


	12. The End

I Shall Believe

By: esmtz

There was an uncomfortable silence between them that Cartman refused to even look at Kyle.

"What do you mean you had a feeling that something was going to happen?" Kyle asked watching as Cartman looked away from him with a guilty look on his face.

"When Stan's dad showed up I just suddenly got this feeling that something wasn't right and I wasn't sure if it was just me feeling that way for no reason or not so I tried to stop Stan from going with him thinking that he shouldn't get in the car but when I thought about it I just figured that I was overreacting to nothing and I let him go." Cartman told him while at the same time he tried his hardest to keep himself from crying.

To Kyle it still felt like it was only yesterday when Stan's accident happened that he could clearly remember exactly what happened during that day and he definitely remembered how Cartman had acted right when Stan was being picked up and when he and Kenny went to Cartman's house and Cartman and him started to argue.

"That was why you were acting weird?" Kyle said almost in a whisper as he was surprised to learn that, that was why Cartman was worried.

Cartman winced at the hurt tone in Kyle's voice.

"…Yeah." Cartman said quietly, "It's my fault that Stan died. I could have stopped him and he would have been fine and Kenny wouldn't be doing what he's doing right now. He wouldn't be blaming himself and you wouldn't be hurting like you are right now!" Cartman told him as he moved his hand to cover his eyes as he was on the verge of crying again.

Kyle just looked at him in shock as well as completely worried as he saw that Cartman was slightly shaking.

"Cartman, it's not your fault. You had no idea that Stan's accident was going to happen. It was probably just a coincidence that you suddenly felt worried about Stan that there's no way that you could have seen it coming." Kyle replied as he placed his hand on Cartman's shoulder.

"Then why do I feel so damn bad?!" Cartman asked almost in a yell as he removed his hand from his face and looked directly up at the ceiling; his eyes already slightly red from being on the verge of crying, "All I keep thinking about is how I could have stopped him and I didn't and now he's dead and I don't…" Tears started falling down his face as he continued, "…I don't understand why Stan doesn't blame me for letting him die."

"What are you talking about, Cartman?" Kyle asked as he looked at him sadly just as he removed his hand from Cartman's shoulder.

"…I saw him. At first I thought I saw him when my mom and I were making our way towards where Stan was going to be buried and then right after you and Kenny had that talk I guaranteed saw him sitting on his coffin. He was just looking at me and he was bleeding from where he hit his head in the accident and it really started to freak me out so I guess that was when…"

"When you fainted, Cartman. Now I see how you ended up in a coma. The stress of losing Stan was just too much for you that you just…shut down. Your brain kept coming up with images of Stan for you to see because you felt too damn guilty about what happened that you just couldn't deal with it anymore." Kyle said looking at Cartman worriedly, "Dude, really it really isn't…"

"I also saw Stan in a dream, Khal." Cartman said interrupting him, "I'm not really sure if it was a dream or not considering how he already knew that he was dead."

Kyle frowned slightly as he looked at him.

"What did he say, Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"That he doesn't blame or hate me for what happened." Cartman replied.

"Well obviously! Why would he? You had nothing to do with it! The only person who is at fault here is Kenny's dad you got it?" Kyle said looking at him with a serious look on his face.

Cartman still didn't look convinced making Kyle sigh as he shook his head.

"Jesus fatass never thought I'd see the day where you've convinced yourself that whatever happened is your fault." Kyle said slightly annoyed.

Cartman simply looked at Kyle with a confused look on his face.

"So you really don't blame me, Khal?" Cartman asked, "I just figured with how much you guys don't like me…"

"…No dude. Even if I wanted to blame you I'll always know that it really wasn't your fault so seriously, Cartman just let it go already. There's no point in torturing yourself if no one else thinks that you're to blame." Kyle told him, "Sometimes bad things just happen, Cartman and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. That's just part of life. I'm actually surprised that you're taking Stan's death as hard as you are…"

"I know and I'm sorry for how I've always acted until now. I've already apologized to Stan so here's me apologizing to you too, Khal. I'm sorry that all I've ever been was a total dick to you and everyone else especially to you and I know apologizing is never going to change the fact that I was always an asshole but I figure that maybe it's a start?" Cartman said looking at him.

Kyle nodded.

"Yeah it's a start. Thanks, Cartman. You know all this time I just figured that you didn't know what it means to care about others so I'm really happy that you finally figured it out."

Cartman snorted.

"It only took for a good friend of mine to die." Cartman said.

"Still I never thought that you of all people would take a friend's death that hard. It just goes to show that despite how often you said that you hated us you never really did and in a way I kind of knew that already but it's always nice to know when someone actually shows that they care. Thanks, Eric. I have a feeling we'll be better friends from now on." Kyle said with a smile on his face.

"Eric, Eric sweetie!"

Cartman frowned slightly as he looked around the room wondering where his mom was since she sounded so far off. Just as he started to sit up his whole vision went black and before he knew it he found himself waking up in his own bedroom. The first thing that he noticed was that he was in his clothes and not in his pajamas and when he made a move to sit up he saw that his Xbox was still on and was in the main menu screen of Gears of War 3. Cartman frowned slightly as he heard his mom call for him again from downstairs. Confused as to what was going on he went downstairs to see what his mom wanted. To his surprise he saw Kyle and Kenny standing right in front of the house door.

"What are you guys doing here?" Cartman asked.

"We came to hang out what does it look like fatass?" Kyle replied.

"Something wrong dude? You look like you're confused about something." Kenny said looking at him.

'What the fuck? What's going on?' Cartman thought to himself not really paying attention to Kyle or Kenny 'Kyle looks way better than before and why is Kenny here?'

"Dude what's going on with you? You're acting really weird right now and even before when Stan's dad picked him up." Kyle said looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Cartman just looked at him in complete confusion.

"What are you talking about? Stan's…"

Cartman cut himself off to really think about what was going on. The way he woke up in his own bedroom with his Xbox still on currently playing Gears of War 3, the clothes that he was still wearing, the fact that both Kyle and Kenny came by and the fact that Kyle mentioned Stan and his dad. Cartman's eyes went wide in surprise and in horror.

"Where's Stan?" Cartman asked.

"Is your memory that bad, Cartman? Stan went with his dad to go to a doctor's appointment." Kyle said.

Cartman looked at him with a horrified expression on his face.

"Cartman?" Kyle asked looking at him worriedly.

Cartman shook his head.

"No…no, no, no, NO! MOM!" Cartman yelled as he went towards the kitchen thinking that she was in there.

"Yes poopikins?" Liane replied the moment her son entered the kitchen.

"I don't really have time to explain but I need you to take us somewhere!" Cartman told her making her turn to look at him in confusion.

"What the fuck, Cartman?!" Kyle asked annoyed but also worried because of the way Cartman reacted.

"Dude what's going on?" Kenny asked.

"I can't explain right now just trust me and get in the car!" Cartman told them.

Liane had never once seen her son look as frightened as he did right now that without even bothering to ask questions she quickly got her keys and a coat and started making her way towards the front of the house. The guys quickly followed as they closed the door behind them and got in the car.

"Could you please tell us what this is all about, Cartman?" Kenny asked as soon as he closed the back passenger door to the car.

"Yeah fatass what's got you so worked up all of a sudden?" Kyle asked just as Liane started the car and backed away from the driveway.

"Stan dies in a car accident and no I don't have time to explain why I think that." Cartman told them.

Kyle and Kenny just looked at him like he was crazy.

"You're out of your mind, Cartman!" Kyle said unable to believe what he just heard.

"Am I? Call him he probably wont answer." Cartman said not looking back at him.

Kyle pulled out his cell phone while Cartman started giving directions to his mom. After a few tries of calling Stan and only getting his voicemail Kyle hung up and bit his lip as he started to freak out that Cartman might have been right. After a minute of awkward silence (besides the directions Cartman was giving his mom) Kyle decided to say something.

"If Stan's not answering how are we supposed to find him?" Kyle asked.

"I already know where he'll be, Khal. Right where the accident happens." Cartman told him.

"How do you know that he gets into an accident, Cartman?" Kenny asked.

"I just know ok like I said I can't explain right now." Cartman replied as he signaled to his mom to turn right.

"Why do you even care, Cartman?" Kyle asked.

Cartman didn't say anything as he kept telling his mom which way to go until they eventually found the area in which the car accident had happened.

"This is it." Cartman said making Liane come to a stop.

Liane watched as her son got out of the car.

"Where are you going sweetie?" Liane asked.

"I'm going to stop this accident from happening." Cartman said as he closed the door.

"How? If Stan's not answering there's no way to warn him." Kyle said as both he and Kenny followed right behind him.

'As long as the accident hasn't happened yet I can still stop it.' Cartman thought to himself as he moved to stand right next to the traffic lights.

After waiting about ten minutes or so Kyle and Kenny started to wonder if Cartman made it up.

"Dude are you sure it happens here?" Kenny asked as he watched the cars that passed by them.

"He's probably just messing with us, Kenny." Kyle told him having been sitting on the sidewalk for the last few minutes.

"I'm not joking about this, Khal and yes it happens here." Cartman said as he looked at his phone and realized that they were there half an hour before they had shown up in the dream and the accident had already happened and the police cars and traffic had shown up.

"Well he's not showing up so I bet you anything that you're just fucking around with us so let's go, Kenny." Kyle said as he started to stand up.

Cartman was just about to respond if it wasn't for the fact that he saw Randy's car heading straight towards them. Without thinking he rushed into the middle of the road making cars that were right behind him stop as he ran to stand right in front of Randy's car making Randy push hard on the brake pedal to avoid hitting him.

"WHAT THE FUCK, CARTMAN?!" Kyle yelled out from the sidewalk his eyes wide in horror of what Cartman just did.

Stan's eyes were just as wide as Kyle's having been completely shocked and totally not expecting Cartman to just run out onto the street like that.

"What the fuck was that, Cartman?!" Stan yelled out.

"Mr. Marsh you have to listen to me if you keep going any further you're going to get hit by Kenny's dad in a truck!" Cartman told him.

"WHAT?!" Kenny yelled out from where he was standing next to Kyle.

"What are you talking about, Eric?" Randy asked.

"Please just trust me on this! If you don't Stan is going to die!" Cartman told him.

"You can't be serious, Cartman."

"I just ran out in the middle of the fucking street to save you what do you think?" Cartman replied looking at Stan.

"Dude…" Stan said unable to believe what he was hearing.

"I'm sorry, Eric but we need to get home so could you move? You shouldn't even be out here in the middle of the road it's too dangerous." Randy told him.

"I know that, that's why I'm out here to stop you from getting-"

Cartman hadn't been paying attention to the fact that the cars next to Randy decided to keep driving so when he heard a sickening crash his eyes went wide in horror as he jumped having not expected for that to happen at that moment.

"CARTMAN!" Stan screamed.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE!" Kyle yelled out as both he and Kenny ran towards Cartman.

Cartman knew the accident was going to happen but he didn't take into account the sound of it all as he heard the sound of the truck hitting the car making it flip just like he saw in his dream. Hearing it actually happen though was clearly a different story as he struggled to stay on his feet but he suddenly lost feeling in both his legs and slowly fell to the ground completely shaking. Stan quickly got out of the car and ran towards him.

"Dude are you ok?!" Stan asked as he put a hand on his shoulder.

Cartman nodded as he slowly turned his head to see the accident. The truck was right next to him too close to call in fact and there was glass everywhere. He saw where the other car was at and it was in the same position that Randy's car had been in.

"I can't believe you were right, Cartman." Kyle said as soon as he and Kenny saw that he was alright.

Cartman found himself unable to say anything as he was still shaking and was still unable to process the fact that Stan really would have died if he didn't stop his dad from driving. He found himself slowly reaching out and grabbing a hold of Stan's jacket gripping it tightly in his hand.

"Cartman?" Stan said noticing the look on Cartman's face as he pulled him into a hug, "Hey I'm ok everything is fine you saved me."

Cartman wrapped his arms around Stan hugging him back as he let the tears fall freely as it was just too much to take knowing that his dream was really a warning.

The End

Author's Notes: Finally at the end of the story. Wasn't entirely sure if I was going to finish this, this month or not but I did. Sorry if the ending sucked I just wanted to get this out as quick as I could because it's really late and I should be in bed. Anyway I would like to thank all those who read, fave/followed and especially to those who reviewed my story and my last chapter (RandomWriter197, suhamakittenll, and crossbow35) thank you because without you guys I probably wouldn't have finished this so yeah and just in time for Christmas too well it's in ten days but at least I got it done before then so yeah thanks for reading and hope you liked it.

Esmtz-aka Sarah (Erica)


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